Nightmares and Destiny
by Miss Katrina Malfoy
Summary: Serena has been having lurid dreams of a man other than Darien. Terrified of what this means for her future, and seeing the dreams change her, she wonders if she is still in control of her life and if her future will come to be as promised.
1. Accidents

**This is my first attempt at sailor moon fan fiction; please don't get angry at me if it doesn't fit my normal pattern. I'm trying for something a little more mature…but I've never attempted anything like this and if you knew me you'd know I'm pretty prudish…so lets see what happens….its as new to me as it is to all of you…I own nothing and please read and review…let me know if this is a terribly bad idea…The rating, by the way, is an insurance policy, my plans are to make things very complicated for Serena and those complications could lead to mature notions…as I said, I don't usually go there so let's see how this works out. I'm basing this on a cross between the American version of the manga and the tv show, so if I mention some evens you aren't familiar with, remember they could be from either work. I will be happy to clarify anything you need to know. **

**I hope you like it, **

**Katrina…**

**Now on with the story…**

_Kisses…running down her side she could feel the hot breath dancing on her skin, setting it on fire…She could only see the top of his head, his fair hair running complimentary to her pale skin._

Serena jolted out of bed like she'd just been lit on fire…for the third time this week she was oh so very awake..

"shit" she said, brushing her moist bangs from her forehead. If these images didn't stop, she didn't know what she'd do. It was bad enough that it seemed like heart snatchers had made it their personal mission to make sure she never got to bed early, but when she did finally manage to sleep she was confronted with disturbing images, things she knew she was too young to be thinking about…

She glanced at the ceiling, saying a little silent prayer that Rini was not staying with her tonight, it seemed that every time she'd had a bad dream of some sort Rini would come rushing in saying she had a nightmare and could she sleep in Serena's room tonight. The younger version of her mother would have to cave, what choice did she have really, it was after all her daughter and it didn't matter really that Rini wouldn't be born for quite sometime.

Serena was pretty happy with her ability to turn her thoughts to Rini, it helped to stave off these disturbing images if she reminded herself of how much she loved Darien and how very badly she wanted that future that Rini had once spoken of. Rini had told Serena of what Neo Queen Serenity was really like, and hearing the wonderful things she would be capable of made her heart swell with happiness. True, Rini rarely said much about Crystal Tokyo but Serena was riveted by every word and would often think about the little things she had heard as part of a larger narrative of what it would've been like if she and Endymion had been able to marry the first time.

Serena had lately been searching her memories of Serenity and Endymion, trying to find a context for those disturbing dreams. She knew two things, one that they felt like memories and two this man she kept seeing was not Darien. That's what had her bothered. That she was having inappropriate dreams was embarrassing but not liable to scare her. What scared her was the thought that, even for a moment, another man would rob her true love of his destiny, that someone else would usurp his place in her heart. She had the horrible feeling that if she couldn't find the answer in the past than it might mean something horrible was in store for her future.

She had died for him. Because life without him wasn't living. Serena could still see herself taking that sword and- no that's not going to help matters. Serena knew she couldn't think about her suicide because every time she did she saw her mother (in this life anyway) sobbing her eyes out. Yes it had been a very long time ago, but the idea of leaving her parents or Sammy over some guy, even her soul mate, was unbearable. She'd had some close calls since becoming Sailor Moon but she'd never wanted to die, and certainly never wanted to take her own life. This was something that her present life and her past life were never going to be able to see eye to eye on. She knew why Serenity had done it but she also knew that it was a decision she would never have made. She almost wondered if her past self regretted that decision and if that's why she looked at it with such horror now. She knew that if something happened to Darien he'd never want her to follow him. He'd be the first one to try and shake some sense into her.

But lately, these dreams have been having a strange effect on her. She was starting to consider things she'd never considered before. It could've been the lack of sleep but she recalled quite clearly that one morning she'd caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and screamed. She looked pale, gaunt and makeup or no she couldn't make herself look carefree or normal. But it seemed that she was the only one who saw this new persona, none of her friends had commented on it and she was starting to wonder if it was all in her head.

Knowing sleep was a luxury that she wouldn't be allowed access to, Serena rose out of bed and headed for the bathroom. Her family wouldn't be up for hours and perhaps a nice soak in the tub would make things better. As her tired hands struggled to work the complicated knobs on the faucet, she realized that things were getting worse. She'd seen his hair again, never his face but it was enough to convince her that it wasn't Darien that she was dreaming about. 'Oh Darien' she whimpered as she settled back in the tub.

Problem was, every time she saw a fair head of hair on a man all she could do was imagine Prince Diamond, and how he'd kissed her and vowed to make her his. She cringed at the memory of his heavy frame pressed against her and how afraid she was of what he was capable of. True, when he had kidnapped her, he'd tried to win her affections. But if she hadn't managed to get away, she was quite sure that he was capable of being much less gentile about the matter.

Oh but that was over. She settled down, letting the warm water massage her muscles, trying to smile. Nemesis and Prince Diamond were gone. She'd seen him die with her own eyes, there could be no doubt that he was gone and that the chapter in her life where she had to fear him was over. But it didn't change how she felt, how even when her dear friend Andrew had touched her hand the other day, she'd reeled back from him in horror, afraid and suspicious. She'd never get the sight of his wounded expression out of her mind no matter how hard she tried. Andrew was her friend…her fingers curled into a fist…and she'd treated him like he was a monster. What was wrong with her…

She found herself slipping under the water, her eyes closed tight and she failed to care what happened to her anymore. She was drifting, too tired to care but too afraid to sleep. It was only the shock of the faucet suddenly running cold which jolted her out of the tub.

"what did I almost do?" she said in horror, not thinking of the fact that no one was around to respond to her question. She'd almost drowned herself and she had no idea why.


	2. Memories

**Okay so this chapter's going to be a bit different from the last one, a bit slow for some of you but I have a reason for putting this all in here like this. I may go back and work on this some more, there are a few awkward places. The goal of this chapter is to go out into a wider arena. Even though this story is about Serena, her friends are such a majorly important part of this whole thing that it wouldn't be Sailor Moon without the Scouts.**

**Alright well, I got a few reviews on the last chapter, mostly anonymous, which I'm not complaining, don't think that. **

**For IsadoraKayStone, who wrote**_: __So far so good. My updates = a more thought out review but with what you've wrote so far I'm gonna venture a guess at mind control on the almost sucide thing. (couldn't have her in life so he wants to claim her in death)_

Or if you are taking a really unconventional route I'll guess that some part of her liked the her kidnapper even if the greater part of her loves Darrien.

I'm kinda wondering if at this point she has told rei or any of the other scouts about the dreams or at least that she is having trouble sleeping. If she hasn't told them I'm wondering about if rei has seen something in the fire, or neptune in her mirror and ofcourse pluto in the many possiblities of the time lines. I can't wait to see where this story goes.

**Alright Isadora, first of all, excellent guesses but I can't reveal that just yet. I like your Stockholm syndrome angle. No one knows yet what's going on, As you will read later in this chapter, Rei is unable to get a fix on Serena, the same thing goes for the other scouts with precognitive ability. The thing which is affecting her is also affecting anything related to her. **

**I was particularly excited about the next review, as it is from one of my favorite authors. Crystal Saturn who wrote: **_Hello Miss!_

I love this story so far. It intrigues me and is so interesting from the very first line. It's a well rounded chapter. Great establishing pace and just enough information to get the gist of the timeline, where everything is in the story, and to keep the readers wanting more.

Truly, this story should have more reviews so far... but it may take some time to build up a steady stream of readers. Also, the M rating may be another reason why you've only got a couple reviews so far. I think fanfiction(dot)net sets the default search settings at T and under, which sucks because anyone with the default settings will not see your new chapter come up unless they broaden the search to include M rating stories.

But anyway sweetie, don't let that dishearten you. You've got a fantastic start to a very interesting story here. Write what you love and i'm sure the reviews will come in! You've done so well!

**This chapter will be a bit slower paced but I couldn't figure out how to convey this information in a gentile way, so a lot is getting tossed at you. I might change this chapter over the weekend but what I have right now I did instead of my french hw tonight lol. The M rating is there for a reason, because it will be vital to future chapters. I try to keep things clean when I can because there are a lot of young people here but sometimes that isn't an option, this particular chapter isn't worthy of the M though As far as reviews go, I was a lot more popular on the site I used to write for. That site went down which is how I ended up here in the first place but anyway I've been very slowly coping with my new status as lamo author but I hope that with time and a lot of hard work that might change. It doesn't help matters that I generally write very short chapters lol**

**To nyx who wrote: **_I like where you are going with this. You have a great writing style that is easy to follow and I found it easy to get caught up in the story. I hope you keep going I want to see what happens next._

**Alright nyx, first all, thank you! I appreciate the compliments, I was at a saint patrick's day party tonight and I was getting compliments from drunk people, which is nice but it is nicer to get them from you guys lol As per my writing style, I write songs most of the time, that's where I pour my creative energies. My stories are different in that they are influenced by my life at the moment and the amount of inspiration I can draw upon. I never release chapters when I'm not inspired by some good idea or another. I also constantly polish chapters, so if you ever see anything which doesn't make sense, please let me know because I'm always refining these and making them better and better. **

**To YingYang: **_When I first read that the guy had blonde hair, my first thought was Andrew...it's not him is it? Please not Diamond..!_

Good start...sounds like this is going to be an interesting story. Can't wait for the next chapter. Update soon

**You are last on my list but first in my heart because you were the first person to read Nightmares and Destiny other than me, thank you so very much. As for Andrew or Diamond, I'd love to tell you but I'd rather cause more problems for Serena first lol. Keep in mind, we don't know who it is because Serena doesn't. We know what she knows**

**One last note guys, you're probably big time bored but I do this for a reason, my reviewers mean the world to me and I would never ignore any of them. I dedicate my stories and my inspiration to my dear friends here, when I first came to this site, I was so intimidated. I'd always been a big fish in a small pond and I'd suddenly been tossed into the ocean. My readers are my floaties out here and I love you guys for it. Please continue to read and offer any suggestions. I want to keep this fun for everyone, and if it isn't then it just means I need to rework it and send you guys some fresh material. Oh and I don't own sailor moon, because if I did it never would have ended lol And big hugs for Crystal Saturn, I owe you big time lol**

Serena sat down wearily on her bed, her robe and her wet hair pooled around her. She grabbed her knees and brought them to her chest. What was happening to her? Why was everything so screwed up? Serena could feel her eyes welling up with tears and she fought like crazy to keep them from falling down her face. She looked over at the clock. It would be morning soon. She needed to try and compose herself. It wouldn't do for her mom to come wake her up and find her sobbing. Her fingers clutched her knees closely as she tried to remember what she was thinking about right before she slipped below the water. Maybe if she could figure out what triggered this, then maybe she could prevent it. But try as she might, all she could remember was willing herself to sink down into the soapy water. At the moment when she once again regained conscious control, she had realized she was physically pushing herself down under the water. But why? She still couldn't answer that basic question.

Serena willed herself to stand up and start getting ready. She still had several hours before class. She haphazardly got herself dressed, with no care to what she was wearing or how she looked. She had two different shoes on her feet when she snuck out of her parents house and walked into the cold winter night.

She soon found herself outside of Darien's building, her eyes consciously found his balcony among the many she could see. "Oh Darien" she said, sitting herself down on the steps in front of his building. "What am I going to do?"

She contemplated running up to his apartment, telling him about everything that had happened to her since that first nightmare and beginning him to still love her in spite of all the meaning she was seeing in them. She truly believed that they were more than just dreams and if he saw it that way too- no she didn't want to think about it. She hoped that if something like this was happening to him, he'd trust her enough to talk to her about it.

But no, this was different somehow. She couldn't explain it to herself, and she wouldn't dream of asking Darien to understand when even she didn't. She also knew he'd try to get her to see a doctor if she told him about the tub. He'd be frantic, she was sure he would think it was his fault somehow that she was suicidal…But she wasn't really, was she? She didn't want to die… again… right?

She wouldn't ask Darien to share this burden. She couldn't have him thinking that it was his fault that she had nearly left him alone, that she had nearly made their daughter disappear. She wondered if perhaps he already knew somehow, if he could have felt her fear when she was shocked. She liked to believe that their bond was so strong that he would just know when she was hurt.

But he hadn't known. He hadn't noticed she had been scared most of the week. He hadn't noticed how sallow her skin was lately, how the lightness and sparkle in had disappeared from her eyes. She hadn't laughed or smiled or anything in what seemed to be a very long time. Maybe having Rini around was helping him forget how worried he would normally be. Maybe being a father was more important than being her hero. Sometimes when Serena thought about the fact that Rini would someday be her daughter, she could understand the way Darien felt. She sometimes had those feelings too, that Rini needed her to grow up and be her mother. After all, Rini was so helpless at times. She knew how Darien felt with those little hands taking his, how could he not turn into melted butter when Rini was around. Serena felt proud somehow when she thought about what a remarkable person Rini was and that Serena would someday be the kind of mother that could raise a child like Rini. True, at times Rini would bug her and they certainly butted heads more than Serena cared to admit but she had admired the little girl's resolve long before she ever knew that Rini was hers. Rini was living in a strange world where no one knew her and she had traveled there all by herself, because she loved her mother too much to let her remain incased in that crystal, that she had loved the woman Serena would become that much. Serena could still see Rini's face when she saw her mother like that and remembered the pain. Serena had only seen the young queen for a moment but it was enough to understand Rini's resolve. Since they came home from the future, Serena would constantly imagine that it was her own mother in that state and she wondered if she could've been able to deal with that. She doubted she'd be able to do anything but cry, certainly not go to the ends of the earth to try to bring her mother back. She wished she had been that strong.

Knowing Rini would come to love Serena like that; it gave her hope that she could fix what was wrong with her and be the mother that Rini knew. She had seen herself change so much since Rini came into her life. She liked to think it had been for the better.

But these new changes weren't for the better and she couldn't control what was happening to her. She took one last look at Darien's apartment and finally those tears she had tried so hard to hold in flowed freely and she curled into a little ball on those steps and found herself falling asleep again, not noticing that a fresh dusting of bitingly cold white snow had began to fall.

And that's how Darien found her that morning. In what would prove to be one of the most horrifying events of his young life. Darien had left the apartment around dawn for his morning jog. Rini was still resting and Darien didn't plan on being gone for too long. He stepped out into the fresh snow, being grateful for his new coat snug and warm around his shoulders. As he was descending the steps in front of his apartment, his running shoe slipped on something soft and nearly sent him head first down the steps.

Darien righted himself pretty quickly. Curious as to what could've caused the normally graceful man to have what he deemed a "Serena moment", his eyes searched the place on the step where he had fallen. There was a mound of snow on the step, huge, as if someone had been trying to create a snowman and gave up.

A break in the snow, where his foot had landed revealed a strange color, yellow almost golden. He was sure that wasn't the color of the stairs yesterday and even if it was, there would be no reason for it to be slippery. He brought his hands up to the spot where the hint of gold had been seen and slowly brushed the snow away. Touching the yellow mass, he found he could feel individual strands.

"Oh god, its Hair" He exclaimed horrified. He was starting to get a horrible feeling and he followed the hair back into the snowman. He frantically brushed the snow off and he saw Serena. She was frighteningly pale, with ice covered lashes and snow filling every crevice of her clothes and seeping into her mismatched shoes. And she was so very cold. She looked for a moment like a porcelain doll. There was no color in her face, or on her limbs and she was so very cold. He was terrified and for the longest time all he could do was look at her. He felt like it was some kind of joke, it had to be…she wouldn't do this to him, she couldn't just leave him. He was terrified and he was a little angry at her. Wouldn't she have known how much this would hurt him, was she trying to push him for ignoring her lately. Then he had another horrible thought, maybe she didn't do this on purpose…maybe she had been attacked and that something had just left her body there for him to find. Oh god, her body…he didn't even want to think about what that would mean. He resolved to try and be sensible even though his every impulse was screaming at him that this had to be a nightmare or something, that it just couldn't be happening. He took her hand in his and put his head to her heart. He heard nothing...

Gathering her in his arms, he ran into the building "Serena!" he screamed "Please talk to me, Please be okay" Waiting for the elevator, the few moments it took felt like ages as he held her so close. Her limbs were motionless; she was flopped in his arms like a rag doll. Darting into his apartment he took her to the bedroom.

Rini was still asleep. He laid Serena down next to Rini and wrapped her in the blankets. Rini was jostled and awoke slowly, with dreamy soft noises. She shifted and saw her mother lying there. Suddenly Rini was very very alert. She screamed and ran from the room. She'd had this nightmare before. She knew she had saved her mother, and that this was just a bad memory. She ran into the living room and sat on the floor rocking back and forth, holding her knees. Rini was muttering, repeating to herself "she's not dead she's not dead its just a bad dream, just a bad dream." It became like a mantra, her eyes were unfocused and all she did was just rocked there. It was as if she was catatonic.

Darien was concerned but Serena was more important, he had to figure out how to warm her up, slowly enough where it wouldn't cause her system to go into shock. He checked for a pulse and gave a sigh of relief when he thought maybe he'd felt one. He knew he didn't have much time though so he silently ran through his memory bank, trying to remember what his professors had said about hypothermia. He wasn't sure if that was it or not, but he knew there was a really good chance that it was. It was all he could do to remain focused on the goal at hand of trying to save her. He wanted to call 911 but if this was something to do with the heart snatchers than what could the hospital do? He wasn't sure what had happened but he knew it wasn't normal. For Serena to be outside in this weather was an anomaly, what she was doing on those steps he just couldn't figure it out.

Heat packs…that's what his teachers had said, but he didn't have that. He decided he'd run a warm bath and try to just hold her there, maybe it would help. It was the only thing he could think to do. He gently picked her up and took her and sat her in the tub, she began to slip under the water. He jumped in, still wearing his coat and everything, and sat behind her. Hugging her prone body to his chest he would add hot water and just let the cold water run down the drain. He could faintly hear Rini in the other room. He just couldn't deal with them both right now, although he knew she needed him. Rini would be alright, he'd take care of Serena first, he knew that Rini would understand how important this was.

He was periodically checking skin and for the longest time, he wasn't feeling much change. He thought maybe he was too late and had begun to lose faith that it would be possible to help her. He would periodically check for a heartbeat, he had been sure he'd heard one when he'd first brought her up, but the flow of the warm water and his own heart racing was making it harder and harder to discern her faint one.

He was lost in thought and hadn't seen her hand move. Her fingers twisted around and she started to shake. "Serena!" he examined her face and saw no movement but the rest of her was shaking and shivering. It seemed to be subconscious though as she still wasn't responding to him. He continued the barrage of hot water, not caring that his hands were red and had he stopped to think of it, he would've realized wearing a jacket in the tub wasn't the smartest idea. He noticed her skin starting to turn red and swooped her out of the tub, He bundled her up in the warmest blankets he could find. "Serena please, please don't leave me" He changed his clothes, only so that the wet clothes wouldn't irritate her skin or soak her warm blankets.

The Tsukino family were beginning to wake up. Kenji and Ikuko awoke to the sound of their alarm going off. Kenji went to wake up Sammy and Ikuko went to try to rouse Serena, figuring it was probably hopeless but she had to try. Kenji had just gotten Sammy out of bed and in the process of getting dressed when he heard Ikuko calling for Serena, she walked around the house, checking downstairs, the bathroom, where a partially full tub of cold water greeted her, it was clear that someone had taken a bath last night. But it was also clear that Serena wasn't anywhere in the house. Ikuko called over to Serena's friends, most of whom had been awoken by her call and didn't have any idea where Serena was. But fearing it was scout business, they covered for her than began to search for her themselves. Rei went immediately to consult the sacred fire to see if she could figure out where Serena was. Amy, ever the cool head, tried to contact Darien and Rini to see if they had heard anything, getting neither on the line. Amy contacted the scouts, thinking that perhaps there might be a battle going on somewhere.

Rei was worried, the sacred fire showed her Rini, shaking and muttering and Darien changing clothes (which made her blush) but nothing of Serena.

Lita headed down to the arcade to see Andrew and see if maybe Serena had decided to get up early and go over there.

Mina headed to Darien's, to see if maybe she could get Darien and Rini to help, there could even be a chance that Serena had gone over to Darien's apartment this morning. Mina pounded on the door but no one responded. Feeling apprehensive she began to yell at the door "Darien?" "Rini?" "HELLO!" She fished around trying to find a spare key, no luck. Her mind running through scenarios, she convinced herself that something was really wrong in there. Pounding on the door didn't work and she was beginning to get frustrated. What if someone had kidnapped Serena or Rini? What if the heart snatchers had left her body somewhere and Darien hadn't been able to save her? Fear clouding her better judgment, Mina transformed and blasted lock, the now ruined door swaying on its damaged hinges. "maybe I overdid it a bit" Sailor Venus said to herself, looking down the dark hallway to make sure she hadn't woken any of Darien's neighbors. It wouldn't be great of a Sailor Scout was arrested for vandalism…..

Stepping cautiously into the apartment, she could hear muttering. She walked forward and saw Rini rocking and muttering "she's not dead She's not dead…" Venus was shocked by the change in the normally happy little girl. Rini's face was expressionless, her eyes were dead. Her normally perky pink hair hung matted and tangled, her eyes were red rimmed and her hands which were gripping her knees were white and strained. Mina had seen pictures of children afters something horrible had happened and Rini looked like that. Mina racked her brain trying to recall if she'd ever seen Rini like this. She looked traumatized. Sailor Venus was reminded of her quest to find Serena and she suddenly got really really scared. "she's not dead" Venus murmured to herself…oh god SERENA! She thought. She had to reach the little girl, she had to know what was wrong "Rini?" Sailor Venus approached the child cautiously. What was wrong with the pink haired time traveler? Rini didn't respond. Sailor Venus sat down next to her and drew the girl close, cradling her. She gently reached down and took Rini's face in her hands. She gently titled Rini's chin in an attempt to make eye contact with her and force her out of this repetitive motion, maybe she could calm her down, reach her somehow. She briefly thought of Darien and wondered what could have possessed him to leave Rini like this. The little girl stopped shaking but continued to mutter and even though they were face to face, her eyes seemed not to see Venus at all.

Sailor Venus powered down, this was a job for a friend not a superhero. "Rini, its Mina, can you hear me?" Rini's eyes met Mina's and she began to calm down. "Are you alright Kiddo?" "no!" Rini replied. "I had a nightmare" "tell me about it, maybe I can help." Mina said, hugging the little girl close.

"I was waking up and I turned and saw my momma. She looked just like she did back home when she was inside the silver crystal, like she wasn't my momma anymore, like something was missing."

The little girl's voice broke and she started to cry. "Where's Darien?" Mina asked. Rini didn't answer. 'Alright Mina, time to take things into your own hands, I've been a scout even longer than Serena, think Mina, think'

"I'm going to call the girls, and see if I can find Darien anywhere. Its going to be okay Rini, I'm going to make it okay. I'll just be in the other room, you let me know if you need anything, I'll be here. Do you do you need anything before I go?" Mina asked the little girl, who just shook her head.

Mina stepped into the kitchen in the hopes that Rini wouldn't be able to hear her. She called the other scouts and explained what happened with Rini, Rei asked her if she'd seen Darien anywhere. Mina said she honestly hadn't looked because of Rini. Rei cursed and told the blonde that she'd better start looking…Lita said she'd head that way to help out and Amy headed to the control room to meet up with Artemis and Luna.

Mina called out in the apartment. No one responded. She headed down the short hallway and came to Darien's room. She knocked first and slowly pried open the door. Darien was sitting up, his back against the headboard. In front of him was what looked to be a burrito with a tuft of blond hair. "Darien?" she asked, turning on the light. He seemed to be awake but not responding. She got a little closer and nudged him, nothing. Feeling apprehensive, she reached over and pinched him. "Oww!"

"Oh thank god" she said.

"Mina?"

**Okay so this one's a little slower, but there is a reason for it, I promise. Don't hate me! Keep in mind SERENA WAS ASLEEP FOR MOST OF THIS AND NOT WAKING UP. Remember what happens when she sleeps people lol**


	3. Circle of Light

*** I'm back everyone! And this chapter is going to jump right into dreamy time so be on the look out, remember once the story begins, Italics means dream in this story, but only once the dream begins **

**Now for my very special reviewers **** (if I start getting a lot I'm going to have to rethink this address every one of them thing but for right now I can so I will, if this bores you, just skip down past all the bold font, okay?) **

**For Crystal Saturn who wrote: **

*hugs back* Awwww! Thanks for the mention sweetie! I'm more than happy to help out wherever I can. I LOVE this chapter. You've done so well! Pat yourself on the back, cause this was a huge chapter. I also loooove what you did with Mina, the door thing made me laugh :D And she seems more compassionate which is great.

I think your fine detail is what might make you think the chapter is a little 'slower', but i really enjoyed the little details. I think it helped to paint a vivid picture in my mind of what was happening while explaining a bit of back story, which is wonderful and quite hard to do, so well done. Also, I don't think this is slow at all. It's very action filled and builds the suspense and tension! :) So well done, Miss! I hope to see another update from you soon ^_^

-CS

**First of all, I love pretty much everything by Crystal Saturn, so it's a huge honor to have her read my stuff! And she did get a sneak peak of the chappy last time (sorry everyone but it couldn't have made it up without her) I'm really critical of my own writing because I want it to be perfect, because you guys deserve it to be amazing! There was a lot of detail in the last chapter because I wanted to set up this complicated diatribe in this one and I'm thrilled that it didn't bore you, Crystal Saturn **

**For YingYing who wrote: **

First of all...thank you for your reply of my review! =) I knew you weren't going to tell me but it's worth a try! =p

With regards to this chapter, I don't think it was slow. Serena is depressed...I think this chapter does well to show that, and to develop the story further. Though I must say, Darien's not a very good boyfriend...he didn't even notice!

Great job so far. You are an exceptional writer. Your work is well written, and so easy to follow and get into. Give it time...I'm sure you'll get the recognition you deserve on this site soon. =)

Y. x

**Alrighty well, two comments here, thanks soo much for the compliments, I write because I love doing it but hearing that you guys like it means so much to me, thank you for that. And she's not depressed persey, she's kinda haunted I guess is the best word (not that we are dealing with ghosts or anything you understand, I mean the feeling of being haunted, being confused and feeling that something is after you that you can't understand) She isn't consciously depressed though, at least that's not what I was shooting for. As for Darien, you have to think about it this way, he loves Serena and he's never had a family that he can remember, so suddenly he has a girl he loves and a child to take care of, it is hard for him to see past how wonderful that is to him, this ready-made family I mean. He finally has a family, so if he doesn't notice little things like how much Serena has changed, that's only because he's just too happy right now to think about it, well he was until about ¼ of the way into the last chapter…I kinda dropped a bomb on him lol But what I always loved about Darien in the original Sailor Moon was the fact that he was just too happy sometimes that he didn't want to believe it when something bad happened. Serena is a bit like that too, but she's always kinda wary because she knows bad things happen when everything seems to be going well. **

**For deedee who wrote: **

I usually read reviews first to see if i will like a story or not, so when i saw that Crystal Saturn had reviewed this one, i knew i would have to read it too ^_^ shes one of my fav authors as well. I recognized your author name cause she dedicated a chap to you in her story.

So i was excited to read this story, and boy was i blown away! this is really great so far. its so interesting and kept me thinking all the way through! i like how detailed your chapters are and your writing style is great. Looking forward to reading more from you soon!

**A fellow Crystal Saturn-ette lol yea I love her stuff, she's amazing, the fact that she has so much faith in my little pet project here means the world to me so I'm thrilled that someone who holds her in such high regard would like my stuff too. I've been writing like this since I was 10, I spend most of my time with my music but I've written short stories, plays, poetry, pretty much anything lol. My biggest issue is I have to wait for that little light blub to go off in my head, I never write when I'm not inspired. So the fact that this story is inspiring itself is amazing to me, I just read the previous chappy and wam lol its never happened like that before so I'm pretty excited about this. I've loved Sailor Moon since I was a little girl and there is an ancestor to this story, a fanfic I wrote at age 13 which tells about Crystal Tokyo when Rini was an infant. It and reading the Maga from the beginning to stars has really inspired this story to move forward. As for my style, it is different but I've written like this for so long that I just think its just getting better, which as you can imagine is a big deal for me **

**For Moon Princess Selene who wrote: **

interesting story! keep it up :)

**Thanks Moon Princess, I have no plans to stop anytime soon, all the same having encouragement really makes a difference. As I said before, my reviewers are my floaties and I appreciate every single one of my readers. **

**For Serenity11287 who wrote: **

send in the next chapter soon

**unfortunately, I'm not as quick about updates as some other authors, I rely on inspiration and you really can't force it lol but I will try to stay on top of it so you don't have to wait too long, I hope it wasn't too much of a gap for you guys, I do try but sometimes I get stuck, one of my harry potter fics is stuck right now, I probably won't be unsticking it until summer but good news is this one seems to be flowing pretty reliably so I don't predict being too slow about the updating with this one **

**For thewhitestblackpersonyouknow who wrote: **

I am loving this storyyyy keep going!

**I intend to, and I'm thrilled that you like it ;)**

**Well one final note for everyone, this chapter does go to a very dark place (literally at one point) please keep in mind that I love Sailor Moon the character, Serena is a lot like me in real life, (except she's a little thinner lol) so please keep that in mind, no matter what happens, Serena will always be okay at the end of the day, so no throwing tomatoes if you don't like the way this chappy ends! Much Love, Katrina * **

**Chapter 3: Circle of Light**

_She was cold. That was her first consistent feeling. She was soo very cold. She lifted her head and tried to make sense out of what she was feeling. The room was dark, she couldn't see much beyond the circle of light the overhead fixture provided. She could really just see she was in a bed. It was unfamiliar to her for a moment but something was nagging at her. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to think. Her head was pounding dangerously and when she tried to lift her arm to prop herself up she had a stab of pain in her fingertips which danced down her arm and to her shoulders. Her eyes shot back open as she realized why the bed had nagged her. It was the one from her nightmares, at least it felt the same under her back. She managed with difficulty to raise herself into sitting position. She still couldn't see much but she tried to take a stock of what exactly was happening. This was the first time she'd ever had one of these dreams and she was alone in it. She couldn't tell if maybe someone else was in the room just outside of the circle of dim light. But her instincts told her she was alone for the moment. _

_She was afraid, of that there was no question. She could feel the fear and it was drowning out the pain she was feeling. She resolved to stand up and try to explore the room. A quick swing around proved it to be impossible. She was too thin and she was very bruised. She could see a ring of bruises around her ankle and large angry red welts on her inner thighs and "OH GOD" she thought, horrified, "I'm not wearing anything!" at least that explained why she was so cold…She gathered the sheets around her, but found they were either too ragged or just plain disgusting and she couldn't deal with that. _

_Everything ached. She realized that the bruises she could see were only a taste of what she had all over the place. She could see, however, that some of it was just the resultant of how thin she was. Trying to support herself was impossible she found and a quick glance at her once beautiful hair revealed it to be dried out and matted. It seemed that wherever she was she had been there for quite some time. _

_Thinking it was maybe just another nightmare, Serena reached up and pinched her own arm, making her cry out but not waking her up. This was serious, but then she'd known that from the beginning. Had this happened naturally? Was this a warning to her subconscious about the results of her failing to take care of herself, that if she continued on this path she'd be unable to do much of anything. She could remember that morning only a few days ago- oh but it felt like ages- when she had first noticed she was growing thin and gant. Maybe this is what was destined to happen. Maybe she was sick…something she couldn't rule out and this was some sort of recovery thing. But who ever heard of a hospital with dirty sheets and dim lighting and surely there would be some kind of equipment….._

_Her dangling leg had struck something, perhaps the bed but whatever it was it hurt…she felt a burst of pain, like fire striking her boney leg. She screamed, her own voice sounding foreign to her ears. She just continued on screaming which turned to crying-crying she knew, in her heart, that no one could hear…._

Darien and Mina had been talking, she had expressed her concern about Serena's appearance and he had tried to explain what happened but there was so much of the story that he simply didn't know. He didn't know why Serena had been there in the first place or why she wouldn't wake up. He didn't know if it had something to do with the enemy. To be completely honest with himself, he had to admit he didn't know anything. His bond with Serena had been weak as of late and he had not really been there for Serena like he felt he should've been. It seemed as if whatever was wrong with her was his fault, he felt like he had missed some vital clue and if he had only been paying closer attention he would know how to help her now.

"I don't blame you for what happened to Serena, you need to understand that, Darien. But you are responsible for what happened to Rini. That little girl trusts you and she needs you to be the adult here. When I came in she was shaking and muttering, she looked more lifeless than Serena does right now, if that's even possible" Mina said, her fingers laced in Serena's frozen grasp. "Did you even consider what you were doing, Darien? She's a little girl, you know, and she's been through a lot more than she cares to admit. She may seem so strong to you and me but she really isn't. Now I can watch Serena for a moment or two while you go make things right with YOUR daughter, am I CLEAR!" Mina didn't even bat an eyelash when she delivered her demands. She wanted to make it clear to Darien that she wasn't asking him to check on Rini, she was demanding it. Her forcefulness shook him out of his fearful self reflection.

Mina was right, the simple fact was that the little girl's appalling condition had entirely been his fault. He cringed when he thought of how angry Serena would've been at him for his neglect of little Rini. He had knowingly left her alone, clearly traumatized and had relied on her appearance of strength and resoluteness to comfort her. Mina had made a point to chastise him about Rini but it was Darien's own guilt that forced him to consider Mina's demands and to resolve him self to care for the little pink haired princess. After all, he knew Serena would be alright, Rini was proof of that. If Serena wasn't going to make it then Rini would've vanished as well. His innate logical brain knew it was time to suck it up and deal with the situation like an adult, in spite of the fact that even considering loosing either Serena or Rini was just too much for him to bear, he just knew his heart wouldn't survive it. He needed both of them. He had never had a family before and failing now that he was so close just wasn't an option.

He had known hours ago that Rini was freaking out but he had trusted in her resilientness to handle herself and calm herself down while he dealt with an emergency. He knew now that he was mistaken, that Rini was, despite everything, a child, a child whom he had just succeeded in traumatizing, and she hadn't left the spot where she had been when Mina came in. Serena, on the other hand, appeared more stable by comparison. True, she hadn't exhibited any change but her heart did appear to be beating. She was still rather cold and Darien went to get another blanket for her. After making Mina promise to come and get him if there was any change, he went to check in on Rini.

Just as Darien arrived in the living room, a slightly amused Lita swung open Darien's now ruined front door. "Mina huh?" she asked Darien, who, until that moment, hadn't even noticed the busted door. "I don't know what happened there, you'd have to ask Mina" Darien said, making his way over to Rini. "So how's our little princess, Darien?" Lita said. "Which one" Darien muttered, sitting down next to Rini. She hadn't spoke to him yet but when he put his arm around her, she snuggled close and cried into his shirt.

"I'm so sorry Rini, I didn't mean to scare you like that." Darien said, absentmindedly stroking her matted hair.

"It was like my nightmares daddy" said Rini, her mind lost in the future, not realizing that it was young prince Darien she was speaking to and not her regal father, at least, not yet. She just wanted to believe she was at home, with her parents, and that her daddy had come to her rescue, like he always did back home when she had a bad dream.

Darien didn't have the heart to correct her and just let her pour her heart out to him. Lita motioned that she was going to go check in with Mina and left the future father and daughter alone together.

"Rini?" Darien asked timidly, not wanting to startle her. "Rini, you know where you are, don't you?"

Upon hearing him speak, Rini sat up, and wiped a small hand across her tear stained face. "Yes Darien, I'm sorry" She stood up, and composed herself, pushing her vulnerability back down below the surface. Darien saw her do this and realized how much she was like him, he would do that whenever he was really upset by something because it was easier, it had always been easier for him to hide how scared he was than admit it to anyone. It forced him to remember the horrible thing Rini had seen in her life, things that he, as a father, should've protected her from. He was struck by another pang of guilt when he considered the fact that this time he had been partly to blame for her trama, that he had let her wake up to that—but he had also been struck in the same fashion when he had discovered Serena that morning. It had only been a matter of hours but it seemed as if it had been another lifetime when he had fallen on the steps. He could still see her snow covered body in that moment when he had brushed the snow away. Every time he closed his eyes, even for a moment, that snow-covered face haunted him. He would never get that image out of his mind and he knew that seeing Serena like that was an image that would haunt Rini as well.

"Darien?" Rini's small voice pulled him out of his reflections.

"Yes Rini, what is it?"

"Can you tell me what happened?" Rini said. Darien stood to his feet, now towering over the little girl.

"I wish I could Rini but we just don't know anything yet."

"But you must know something Darien. What's wrong with her, what did you see, please tell me, I want to help. I know I can help, Please Darien, Daddy, please…"

Her voice broke and for a moment she appeared to wither, almost dissolving back into her catatonic state. But as she started to fall back to the floor she shook herself, and righted herself and in a moment she had calmly walked back to the bedroom from which she had fled earlier that morning. Rini told herself she was a scout now and this time she could help, she finally had the ability to make a difference. She knew that if anyone could find out what happened she could. She and Serena were more alike than she often cared to admit. Darien trailed behind her, bemused at her strength and resolve and wishing he could be so calm. He was trying soo hard not to break down that remaining calm, even for a moment, seemed an impossible task.

Lita was checking Serena out when Darien and Rini walked in. She could see that Serena was starting to get her color back but she was still unresponsive. Lita swore she saw Serena's foot move a moment ago but when she looked again she came to believe that she had just wanted Serena to be waking up so badly that Lita made herself see something that wasn't true.

Lita called Amy and gave her a status report. Lita told Amy that she and Mina had found Serena at Darien's and that Serena's condition seemed to be stable. Mina had related the whole story as Darien had told it to her adding in the encounter with Rini which, Lita realized, Mina had already shared but it seemed to make so much more sense when received after Darien's story that she felt the need to repeat it.

Amy told Lita that she ought to get a hold of Rei, after all the priestess knew more about fire than anyone they knew and surely could think of something to help. Rei didn't need specifics, the minute Lita said they'd found Serena Rei demanded to know where and hung up, leaving a stunned Lita staring at the communicator in mild shock. "Wow that was fast" she said, though mostly for her own benefit as no one else appeared to be listening.

Amy arrived just as Lita was finishing her call to Rei. Amy went to work immediately checking her unconscious friend, applying all that she knew about hyperthermia despite the fact that Darien had done exactly the same thing hours ago. Mina just looked at Amy work, she knew why Amy was so obsessed with this. She too had the feeling that somehow they had all failed in their duty and for Serena to be in such a state it was because they hadn't protected her. Mina had told Darien she didn't blame him but that wasn't entirely true. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that she did blame him, and the rest of them. They had all failed their princess. Amy had to be feeling it to, that had to be why she was so completely committed to trying to help Serena. Because if she didn't at least convince herself that she was trying to do something she'd just break down and loose it. Mina had the same thought when she had sent Darien in to check on Rini. Mina had known that if she could convince him to do that then she had contributed to easing the situation. She told herself that it was what Serena would've asked her to do. Even thinking like that was too much for Mina who ran to the bathroom and just cried her eyes out. Cleaning herself up, she took some deep breaths and made her way back into the bedroom. She needed to be strong for her princess- no she needed to be strong for her best friend. Serena was more than just the princess she'd sworn centuries ago to care for. Serena had become, in this lifetime anyway, the closest thing she'd ever have to a sister. For the first time since she had become Sailor V she felt useless. She joined her friends at Serena's side waiting for any change. Little did she know that when change arrived, it would be one of the most horrible thing she ever saw.

By the time Rei arrived however, Rini, Darien, Lita and Mina were calling out to Serena who had just started to scream in her sleep, her screams carrying through the open doorway and out into the hallway. Rei said a little prayer that the neighbors couldn't hear it and marched into the apartment, making her way with haste to the source of the screaming. What she found she would never forget. Serena was changing before all their eyes, she was becoming thinner and thinner and bruises were appearing of their own violation. It wasn't just her figure either. Her hair was quickly loosing its life, becoming fried and broken, pieces of frizzy ends breaking apart and sloughing off. It was like some horrible scene from a horror movie. She was decaying almost and it was happening so fast and nothing anyone could do would stop it. The screams turned to cries which quieted down as the blonde grew hoarse and eventually stopped altogether. At that moment, her leg twisted in an awful way and Darien started to shake her, trying like crazy to reach her, horrified and afraid, Darien was crying out to her when a sickening sound was heard. A crack which resonated around the room and her friends looked on, aghast, as her head twisted in a painful way and she stopped moving, screaming or anything. Her eyes, which had shot open for a moment when her head twisted, dilated and seemed to cloud over. Suddenly, Serena had become like a rag doll and Darien just couldn't take it.

Amy, ever the logical one, reached around a distraught Darien and checked Serena's pulse. The girls stood quiet and fixed their eyes on Amy while she tried to feel for any sign of life. Amy looked at all of them, tears welling in her eyes and shook her head. No one tried to catch Rini this time as she ran from the apartment and out into the snow covered street, her small feet barely making a dent in the white fuzzy blanket.

*** I'm soo sorry to leave it like this, but it isn't over, I promise it isn't over. ***


	4. The Coming Storm

*** Hi everybody, I hope no one was too bothered by the previous chapter. I promised that wasn't the end, and it isn't. I normally don't post this fast but to be honest this chapter kind of wrote itself Friday morning. The air was thick and solid and there was a feeling in the air, a coming storm that actually never broke all day, it just hung in the sky, like a threat or something and it all just kind of flowed from that part up and out. As I said, I write when I'm inspired, it's as simple as that and this story just seems to be racing forward alarmingly but I'm loving every minute of it. **

**On a sad personal note…only two reviews on the previous chapter **** I know I threw everyone a curve ball but I was still expecting something…oh well, I guess it's no big deal. I'm not one of those authors who'll hold a story hostage until they get the reviews they want lol**

**For deedee who wrote: **

Wow! What happened there? That was unexpected. There's no way Serena died, right? She can't... she's the main character!

I really liked this chapter. I hope you get the chance to update soon!

**I hope this is soon enough lol as for Serena, it looks that way doesn't it, but she will be okay, just wait and see.**

**For Crystal Saturn who wrote: **

Another well rounded chap :) well done, and what a cliffhanger!

I can't wait to see where this story is going. There's so much potential!

**This story is going to so many weird places but I'm loving it so far, its probably the most fun I've had writing a fan fiction and the first one I've started since I was what…13 maybe, its been along time but I'm excited to show what a difference time has made in my writing lol**

**So without further ado, I present Nightmares and Destiny's newest chapter! Have fun guys **** ***

Chapter 4: The Coming Storm

A pair of newlyweds shared a quiet meal in a small café in Juban. They smiled as their eyes met. They were in their own little world. It was a perfect day, quiet and personal. It made them both feel like they were the only two people in Tokyo, a rare feeling to be sure and one that reminded them of their recent honeymoon to a deserted beach somewhere far away from the hustle and bustle of their hometown. Most of the time, living in such a big city made them happy. All the same, it was sometimes nice to be alone and isolated. The restaurant was practically empty and the large picture window which they used to look onto the street at the fresh white snow which blanketed their vista for as far as they could see. It was just perfect, there was no better word for it. At least it was perfect. They were both admiring the view when an apparition darted past the window. The young woman screamed and darted under the table. The young man just looked, transfixed in horror. There was a figure outside the window that seemed to be disappearing in front of his eyes. It was small, almost child sized and he could barely make out a hint of pink. Was this a ghost? He had never believed in such things. It was a fairytale young children were told. He had actually said that to his mother once or twice which caused her to exclaim that he knew nothing about how the world truly was, that one day he'd get a nasty surprise. He couldn't believe she was right. The apparition appeared to be running, making it harder to see but it turned and looked at him, just as he and it made eye contact it vanished, for good, there was nothing on the street anymore. He could feel his young wife cowering under their table. The perfect day was shattered and they were both shocked into silence.

_The air was thick. It clung to her limbs, her clothing, everything really. It was warm, very warm and she felt as if the air itself was grabbing at her but she remained unaffected. The moisture was the problem. The moisture told her, in no uncertain terms, that rain was coming. She could almost taste the coming storm, it was as if everything around her could feel the imminent storm as it hung strong and heavy in the air. Knowledge of it raked through her but didn't stop her, she merely continued to run, caring not for the heat, the moisture and the humidity of the environment through which she darted. _

_She marveled at the world racing away from her, at what she was leaving behind. She felt so free. It felt as if the hot sticky air was recreating her, changing who she was and she had the elated impression that she was being reborn by it. Her old life dropped beneath her bare feet. The grass below her was greener and more vibrant that any grass she'd ever seen, softer than any grass she'd ever felt. She loved how it stuck between her toes as she ran. There was no breeze to alleviate the rich heat but it no longer mattered. She was creating her own new identity, her own new world. She laughed at how far away her pursuers would be by now, she could no longer hear their pounding feet and angry voices, voices which had pursued her long after she could no longer see the actual people who were following her. It felt- she couldn't really think of anything which had felt so wonderful. It was almost like flying- moving away from the sadness and pain which had dogged her steps for what seemed like an eternity. It felt magical- indescribably so. The storm was still looming, consciously she knew it- how could she not. She could feel it all around her but it only served to propel her forwards, simply by her refusal to be held back by anything. _

_There was sort of stagnation in her movements. She was running, sure, she had been for quite some time but she seemed to not be moving anywhere. The environment wasn't changing, it was an endless field. The only sign of time passing was the warm air and the feeling of an approaching storm. But when was the question. She was slowing down. She stopped, and flopped down on the ground, laying in the moist soft grass and watching the darkened sky. All the freedom she'd felt darting through the grass, away from her life, away from the pain and hardships she'd faced was starting to fade a little. She was loosing that elation she'd had previously and coveted fervently. It wasn't enough to simply escape, something was missing. But try as she could, she couldn't place it. She was agonized by this realization and it shattered her feeling of flying. She suddenly remembered that she'd forgotten some things, she'd forgotten why she was running. She could remember hearing someone following her and angry voices calling out to her but she couldn't recall who they were or why they wanted so badly to catch on to her. The clouds in the murky sky offered no answers and she silently cursed them for being so unhelpful. She rolled over and played absentmindedly with a blade of grass under her fingers. It was, after all, such a lovely shade of green, so vibrant and vivid. It was so unlike any grass she'd ever seen. It almost looked like a painting, like someone trying to represent grass but only having the vaguest notion of what grass should look like. Now that she thought about it she realized it didn't smell like grass either. It smelled like mountain air and sunsets by the ocean. It smelled of wonderful things she'd nearly forgotten. She just couldn't figure out if forgetting things was bad. Was it bad not to remember what she was doing here? She wasn't sure. She just couldn't reason it out with herself, that's what kept her still, she couldn't decided what was worth remembering or if she could remember that she wasn't remembering something. Lost in the fact that her mind was lost she never noticed that her environment had changed. That was, until a sound rose her from her own reflections. She was very confused by the realization that something had changed, that some new sound had interrupted the natural stagnation of this endless nothingness. _

_She rolled around to her other side and saw toes. Tiny toes, much smaller that her own toes by far, those toes were attached to legs, clad in pajamas that were clearly too big for the legs, so much so that there was extra fabric curled and bunched at the bottom. Her eyes rose before the rest of her to take in this new edition. She was puzzled by the familiarity but couldn't place it. The new person, she decided it must be a person, was staring intently at her. It spoke, sounds at once foreign and familiar greeted her, "you've forgotten me, haven't you?" it said, in a sad small tone. When she gave no reply, the person continued "My mom told me once that people forget things when they're sick. She said that it is important not to pressure sick people about what they are unwilling to remember because there is a reason they've forgotten. I don't know that I believe that. The little person sat next to her in the grass, and where she had risen herself up on a boney elbow to see the small person was snuggly place next to the small person's elbow as it settled down to match her position in the grass. She considered whether or not to remain here or start running again. Strange thoughts were creeping into her head. She knew this small person somehow…she knew that this was a little girl and that it was important to her that this little girl be near her. It was this thought which made her smile, a vacant empty smile. _

"_So you did forget everything. Well I'm sorry but my mom was wrong this time. I can't just let this go" The little girl sat up to where she had full unrestricted motion for her arms. Serena was surprised by this development. The little girl suddenly through herself at Serena, only to pass right through her and appear on the grass at the other side; Serena could feel the memories rushing back into her mind. She could feel her leg again and this excruciating pain in her neck. RINI. She knew who the little girl was. It didn't explain where they were or what was happening. "I remember!" Serena exclaimed. Rini gave her a humorless smile. "But I don't know what's going on here" she finished…the elation at her previous comment faded. _

_Serena listen to me, okay, we don't have a lot of time. I'm fading away, which is probably the only reason I can see you right now. Amy she said—she said you were gone. But I don't believe it, I can't. Now listen to me Serena" Rini sounded so grown up and it startled Serena. Rini reminded her of Rei and her ability to take charge when things got too difficult to understand. Serena gave Rini her full attention. "I don't know what's happening either but I know that if you don't do something, you're going to die. Amy says you have already but I was watching.." Serena's heart gave a flip in her chest, not about her being gone, she'd been almost gone before so it wasn't something unique, what made her heartache was that Rini had to watch it. She knew it must've been horrible for the little princess and she couldn't imagine what it felt like to see your mother die in front of her. She'd died before her mother in her past life and it appears she was repeating the pattern. Her heart went out to the little girl, she promised herself if they both made it through this she'd make it up to her, somehow. "I need you to try.." Rini interrupted Serena's thoughts "I need you to reach out to Darien. When I was a kid, you both had this strong bond that he could feel you and you could feel him. I know if you and daddy could connect, it might be enough to change things. I need you to try, it may already be too late…" Rini was vanishing, Serena screamed out to her and started to cry. She let herself sob and tried to open up her bond with Darien, make him feel this pain. But when she tried all she was getting from him was his pain, his franticness to get her to respond to him. He was feeling loss, his own and from her but he couldn't distinguish between them and he didn't understand that she was reaching out to him. She tried to feel him instead, embrace his pain and fear and try to use that to reach out to him. _

13 minutes. It had been 13 minutes since anyone said anything. Darien had been pried off of Serena and sat in the corner, his eyes never moving from her form. He was broken. He couldn't believe she was gone, she just couldn't be. They had a future, he'd seen it, they were supposed to survive this, she was supposed to be with him always. It didn't make sense that she could leave him alone. Fresh waves of loss poured over him and he closed his eyes and tried to breathe. One of the girls moved to cover her face, bringing the edge of the blanket, his blanket, over her chin and up and over her head. One lifeless wrist dangled over the edge of the bed, bruises sharp against the colorless skin.

Lita couldn't take it anymore. She went to the bathroom and threw up, the horror of all she'd seen was worst than any thing she'd seen out in the field. Monsters she could handle with no problem, but that sound of her head twisting, that crack, she'd never heard anything so horrible in her entire life. It was too much and the normally strong and capable Lita was powerless to stop it.

_The storm broke finally, she could feel the rain pouring down, lashing her face. She was drenched in a matter of minutes. The rain felt like ice when it smashed into her skin, the warm humidity of the day was broken as the frigid rain poured down on her. She put her arm in front of her eyes to shield herself from it, closing them. The field was empty and there was no where to run away from the rain. _

She felt something on her face, she was covered. Remembering the rain pelting down on her she was briefly thankful for it, she was, after all, extremely cold. Snuggling down into the blanket she brought her arm, the arm she'd shielded herself with was lonely and cold all by itself. She rolled over, keeping the blanket over her head, shivering.

Rei was the only one still in the room besides a very unreachable Darien. Amy had gone to call Luna and Artemis to ask them what she should do. She was practical, sure, but still felt pain like anyone else and this hurt more than anything. She'd told Rei she was going to call Luna but she really just needed some fresh air. She stepped out on the balcony and gaze at the street below. She could see a familiar pink head running frantically up the front steps and into the lobby. Oh so that's where she went, she vacantly remembered Rini rushing out of the building but it hadn't seemed so very important at the time.

Rini ran to the elevator and impatiently pushed the buttons. Her pajamas had caused her to trip coming into the lobby and she'd sprawled flat on her face. She snickered at what her mother would've said about that, she'd always told Rini that part of being a princess was watching where you step, it would never do to let people outside the palace learn that the princess habitually fell on her face. One of the things she liked about the younger version of her mother was just how klutzy she was, she made Rini look graceful. When the elevator arrived she ran inside, not letting the man who was trying to get out stand in her way, he barely cleared his leg before she pounded the door close button and the floor she wanted at the same time. The elevator music seemed wonderful, it was really amazing. She'd been disappearing; she'd seen the look on that man's face as he watched her from the street. She'd found herself back in that park she'd arrived in and ran all the way back to Darien's. If she was back then it had to mean that Serena was okay. She ran into Darien's apartment, through his now swinging door and past Rei and Darien and yanked on the blanket. A very firm had from the inside of the blanket pulled on it just as hard and it wouldn't move, Rei stood up, intent upon removing Rini and making her stop trying to unwrap the body when she noticed something. The wrist which had been dangling wasn't there anymore. And Rini, despite her best attempts, was unable to budge the blanket. A groggy voice drifted into the room "let go, I'm freezing!" Rini dropped the blanket and pounced on the bed. Rei grabbed the blanket Rini had abandoned and pulled it, really hard. Serena lost her grip on it. "GIVE IT BACK" She yelled and grabbed the end and pulled it back over her head. Darien was started by her screaming and he ran over and yanked the blanket off too. Rini was bouncing like a kangaroo on the bed, causing Serena to be bumped up and down. Darien and Rei pulled Serena out of bed, both giving her strong hugs and screaming for Amy and Lita. Lita made her way into the room, her face a little green. When she saw what was going on she shrieked and joined in.

Serena didn't know what was going on, but she knew she was freezing so hugs, with all the associated warmth felt pretty damn good. That being said, she hadn't been sleeping well lately and had just been dreaming of running in a nice field and was a little put off that no one wanted to let her sleep. She interrupted the happiness of her friends and spoke, her voice still a little drowsy "not that I don't love the attention guys but I'd like to go back to sleep now" Lita, who hadn't hurt her speak yet, was surprised at how normal she sounded considering her neck and- oh god, her neck- Lita strong-armed everyone away from Serena and got a good look. She still looked pale and slightly gaunt but that emaciated look she had only 30 minutes ago was gone and her neck and leg looked fine, those bruises were still there though, faded but she could still see them. They were really the only tangible proof that what she'd seen had actually happened. Darien interrupted Lita's evaluation and grabbed Serena again. "Ow, too tight…tooo tight" Serena pushed against his arms which had just crushed her.

They were all acting kind of weird, like they hadn't all seen her just yesterday. Darien wasn't mad so she doubted her knew about her dream yesterday, much less what almost happened with the tub. She was completely confused about practically everything…most strongly though about why she was so cold. She remembered about the rain in her dream, but this time it had seemed like a normal dream, it wasn't scary or anything and there was no strange blonde man in the field. Of that she was certain. Just like any normal dream though it was fading. Not like these haunted nightmares she'd been having. The warm field and its soft verdant grass were lighting slipping away. It was nice to just have a normal dream for once.

Mina, who had vanished shortly after Amy delivered the bad news walked back into the room. Her head was down and she was looking at her shoes. When she'd gotten up the courage to look she saw Lita, Serena, Rei and Rini looking at her, she was startled then a huge smile began to spread across her face as she ran across the room and knocked Serena to the ground. Darien picked Serena up before Mina could say oops and gave her a hard look.

"Seriously you guys, please let go." Serena said, exasperated, she still had no clue what was going on. They were all acting so strange. She'd tried to ask them a couple of times but no one said much of anything of merit. She was actually a little annoyed by this point. Her pleasant dream had faded completely and all she really wanted to do was go back to sleep. "That's enough!" Serena said, angrily shoving everyone out of the door, they all looked startled. "I'm cold, I'm sleepy and I love you all but go away!" She slammed the bedroom door, not caring why she wasn't at home right now, snuggled back into bed and pulled the blanket up and was soon asleep again. Snoring could be heard on the other side of the door. At that point Amy came in from the balcony, opening the sliding glass door to hear bickering outside the bedroom door. They were all arguing about who should go in and should anyone go in and everything. Rini used the sounds of bickering to hide her sneaking back into the room and snuggling down next to the now snoring blonde. She grabbed a corner of the blanket and went to sleep. Now this was perfect.

*** Okay a little crazy this time, but I did promise not to kill anyone so she's not dead see! ( author lifts blanket and it gets snatched back down) oooppps sorry lol later everyone! And for all of you in America, tax time! (yea not a good thing but I'm trying to be positive about it this year lol ) oh and before you ask, neither Rini nor Serena remember anything about that conversation in the field, its sort of like a dream projection kind of thing, its hard to explain but it actually is a thing that happens, I can't remember the real name for it but it's a form of communication whereby someone's soul visits the people they care about before moving on, I'm not religious or anything but it actually happened to my grandma when my mom was a kid so I know its real. Of course in grandma's case, her visitor didn't get to come back but that's really not the point lol ***


	5. China Doll

*** Okay lol another weird one for you guys, I promise I will slow it down a bit once I get all the cannon fodder out there lol. Speaking of slowing down, sorry about the delay in this chapter, in my defense though, the others were out way quicker than normal so I guess I do have a tiny bit of leniency here! **

**To Answer reviews: **

**For deedee who wrote: **

but her neck was snapped... right? How creepy.. she just came back to life? these nightmares are scary!

I liked this chapter... a little more romance between Darien and Serena would be nice too... she is sleeping in his bed after all, and she is meant to be the love of his life...

Please update soon! ^_^

**I'm sorry to say, the nightmares are going to get worse before they get better…you'll see what I mean when you get to that part in this chappie…yikes! As for her neck and everything…just keep an open mind, there is a logical explanation, we just aren't ready for it yet lol. After all, if I gave it all away in the 5****th**** chapter…what else would we have for a story as we go along! Serena and Darien are interesting on a romantic level because of the whole destiny thing but there's also the age difference. Don't forget too that Serena is keeping a few rather huge secrets from her beloved right now so that's going to put a strain on things. There is a little romantic Serena and Darien moment later on but, well, let's just say, things go south, you'll see what I mean! Thanks for continuing to read though, it means a lot, I promise it will all make sense as we go along but remember sometimes the journey is just as important as the destination **

**For Crystal Saturn who wrote: **

Hi Miss Kat!

I'm so glad you posted this chapter :) I can't wait to see what else you have in stall for Serena. I love that you're so inspired to write... it's great to see when authors enjoy doing what they do.

Looking forward to reading more soon! *hugs* keep up the good work!

-CS

**(By the way guys, just a little author note, Katrina really is my ACTUAL name so it's Kat for short **** ) Yea Serena is in for a hell of a ride, I'm not going to lie. But she's been through a lot so far, so look for some of the future chapters to give her a bit of a break, we all know she's going to need it, especially after you see what's about to happen to her, it isn't pretty! But, in all seriousness, I do have the final destination here planned, so even if the way there is a little weird well, that's just the way the cookie crumbles **** (yes I know…Jim Carey reference lol sorry but it seemed to fit lol ) **

**To x-YingYing who wrote: **

I'm glad Serena's back, though it would've been difficult to continue the story if she was gone! Lol.

Your story is going into a different direction than I had expected it to go...it's good, at least it'll keep me guessing. =)

Y. x

**Yea that's kinda me lol I read a lot of fan fiction before I start on any new project to avoid making it overly predictable. I like surprising you guys lol. I was a little afraid that chapter 3 would scare everyone so badly they'd all disappear so I'm glad to see some familiar names come back and stay with me, it means a lot. And, of course Serena is back lol, I'm drawing on myself a little for her model (weird when you consider all the terrible things that are happening to her but I mean personality wise) because I've always seen a lot of my own personality in Serena, without the weird sparks though lol. We are still heading on the same course that I started in the first chapter, it's just going to go kinda wonky. But I do answer one of the questions I posed in Chapters 1 and 2 so I hope everyone picks up on it **** It's not a big revelation moment, it's kinda hidden in a very dark sequence so hopefully you'll see the chapter 1 echos. **

**And finally, to a seemingly worried Isadorakaystone: **

So serena has no clue she basicly died?

Ok that is strange but still I like the story

**As you can see, if you are one of those nice people who don't just skip the author's notes (not that I mind lol, I'm just glad if people read the stories) you weren't the only one to have this concern. At the risk of sounding a bit like a fortune cookie…all will be explained in time. And remember Serena is still confused, she has no idea if this is real, and really we don't know it either. We know what her friends saw but not what it means. Did she die? Maybe not, after all, dead people don't just get back up do they? This isn't a vampire fic lol. Can we say for sure that we know what really happened? No, not at this point, and that is the point, she doesn't know either. Plus remember field. She was clinging to it, wishing for it. Something that happened right before she found herself there may have been washed away by the desire to return there. Now, if that was limbo, heavan or just her mind loosening its bolts we can't be completely sure (okay yes I do know the answer but it isn't time for that little revelation moment yet!) The whole point is confusion and discovery lol. **

**Speaking to this chapter, in particular, I've had it written, mostly, for something like two weeks now, but there's something missing and I can't put my figure on it, if I figure it out, there's going to be a version 2 that will replace this one…maybe lol by the way, if anyone spots the thing that seems to be missing or not explained let me know, trust me you will be doing me a favor here as I almost didn't release this one yet as I was agonizing about finding that little piece it needed ***

Chapter 5: China Doll

Serena was pissed, no that wasn't strong enough, livid maybe. She had just made it home from the most annoying battle she'd ever been in.

She arrived first, having heard a scream while on her way home from the arcade. She made her way to the park as quickly as she could, transforming in route as soon as she was away from prying eyes. She remembered the heart crystal being shot out of a little girl who seemed to be no more than 8 years old. She could've almost sworn there was steam coming out of her ears. She was terribly excited too. It had been a difficult week and she could certainly have used some good old fashioned anger management. She had just launched into her standard "I'm sailor moon and you're toast" bit when her backup arrived.

The girls had formed a wall between her and the monster to the point at which if she wanted to fight she would've had to knock them down. If that wasn't bad enough, Tuxedo Mask had picked her up and carried her up to a neighboring roof top, promising to come get her if she was needed. Sailor Moon disguarded like some innocent that needed to be saved was humiliating, and the fact that such behavior had come from her own boyfriend was intolerable. Not to mention the fact that it took them all twice as long to beat the thing as she would've taken, Sailor Mercury was knocked out, a very big welt on the back of her head reminded her of the fact for the next week to come. Even Rini hadn't been babied like that. It was terrible. And she was soo mad she could spit. And on top of it, this had been the first battle in a long time she'd actually been looking forward to. She had dealt with her friends and Darien treating her really strangly all week and it had gotten to the point where she really just felt like punching something.

Rini was bad too, but not nearly as domineering as the others. She had been really careful around Serena for a day or so but they quickly settled back in their normal routine. Rini was even back from Darien's and currently had taken to sneaking into Serena's room in the middle of the night. Serena didn't mind, as her nightmares hadn't been back as of late. She thought maybe that nice peaceful field was just the ticket to dispersing her bad dreams.

Darien was the worst though. He would barely touch her, couldn't seem to even stand looking at her. It was about two days after that lovely dream about the field. She and Darien were in his apartment. She had claimed to need help studying, which he found amusing because, well, Serena never really studied. Rini had gone in the other room to play and Serena had leaned over to kiss him. Darien had seemed completely into it, his hand making its way up her back as usual. He was enjoying the moment, savoring the simple kiss as if it was magical. That was until his hand made its way to the back of her neck. His eyes grew as big as saucers and he jumped back like she was a snake. "Darien?" she'd said, "Darien? What's wrong?" He couldn't look at her. She was so completely hurt she ran out the door. Darien sat there stunned for a moment when it dawned on him that she'd just ran out the door. He cursed and took off running. She was crying and had just began to slow down. She leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths trying to calm down. She'd nearly succeeded when she spotted him following her. Needing to both get away and humiliate him a little for hurting her feelings, she darted into a lingerie shop. Extremely embarrassing for her but utterly intolerable for him, which was the point. He had paled a little, craning his neck into the store when a very indigated store manager, who had taken him for a pervert, shooed him out. Serena hadn't really spent much time with him since then, a fact that wasn't lost on her. To make matters worse, the little shop had reminded her of those nightmares and as soon as Darien was out of the site, she ran out herself.

She had fallen asleep at a scout meeting the night before the big battle. She awoke to screaming and people shaking her. Mina had just started crying for no apparent reason. Granted, it wasn't really good that she had fallen asleep but statistics on how many heart snatchers had attacked this month and the evolution of their tactics didn't thrill her in the slightest. Hell, she'd fought at every one of those battles. It wasn't news to her that the frequency had increased. She could tell, she knew it by the lack of sleep she'd had lately. All the same, she was surprised when they didn't get mad, they usually did when she drifted off mid conversation. Her surprise turned to concern when Mina started to cry. She tried to comfort her and wound up chasing her down the temple steps and out into the street. Mina had always been so open about what she was feeling, she and Serena had always been close. Serena was hurt that Mina would rather run from her than tell her what was wrong. It wasn't just Mina though, it was everyone. They all seemed to have the same big secret and no one would tell her what was going on. All in all, it was starting to drive her a little batty. The other issue was no one would get angry at her, no matter what she did. She tested the theory, even to the point of "accidentally" spilling an entire chocolate milkshake on Rei who just smiled (which was creepy all by itself) and said "that's all right, accidents happen" What the hell was going on?

She had asked everyone that at one point or another. She had caught up with Lita one afternoon around lunch. Serena could see that Lita was shaken. Serena repeated the question much harsher than she would normally, having entirely lost her patience with all her friends at that point. Lita had responded to her question with another question, asked in a very tiny voice, which just infuriated Serena. She could picture Lita looking at her fingernails, barely trusting herself to respond at all. Lita looked lost, frightened almost. Lita's simple answer of "What, you don't remember?" was the final straw for Serena. At that point Serena had officially lost her temper and she snapped at her friend "If I did, do you think I would've asked?" Then, of course, Lita of all people got teary and ran off. Serena watched her go, her anger fighting with confusion, concern and guilt. By the time Lita was completely out of her site, Serena felt like a jerk, she didn't like that feeling at all, and she hadn't really felt that way very often. She was just frustrated and upset. She knew her friends were hiding something important, she was too, really, so she shouldn't be getting so bent out of shape. She knew it. But what was bothering her was just the way they were treating her. Not like she was a sailor scout, not like she put her life on the line all the time for them, not like she was their princess and they owed her. No, she was treated like a porcelain doll, like she couldn't protect herself, like she didn't have what it takes to be a hero. It was hurtful and demoralizing and she hated it. She figured that alone gave her a legitimate reason to be pissed off. All the same, maybe snapping at her friends wouldn't get her anywhere.

Lita of all people should have understood though, she reasoned, she should have known how much they were all deliberately hurting Serena's feeling by keeping such a clearly big secret from her. She just knew, she did, that it was about her. She could see it in their eyes. And the coddling simply had to stop. She'd all but had to demand Amy stop following her to her classes. Running late for class everyday had been a challenge for her not so secret body guards. She had started leaving at all sorts of crazy times and had managed several times to get away from them that way. Serena had really gone out of her way to prove that she knew what they were doing and that she wasn't putting up with it.

But what could she do, demanding they spill their secrets sounded hypocritical considering that she wasn't being honest with them either. But the thing that made it all the worse is that she tried her hardest to make it seem like she wasn't hiding anything. They certainly hadn't offered her the same courtesy. It is all well and good to pretend you don't have a secret, but when the simple fact of having one makes you act differently well, that's a big deal.

An ugly thought took dominance in her mind, What if they were doing this because they really thought she wasn't capable of dealing with her sailor duties anymore, what if they finally lost that faith in her that they had been clinging to as of late. What if they were protecting her because they were afraid to be honest, to tell her they didn't think she should lead anymore? God knows they all thought it at one point or another, Rei had even gone so far as to say it several times. What if they truly wanted her to step aside? It sure looked like they were trying to prove her help was unnecessary. What would she do if she couldn't be Sailor Moon anymore? At this point, she couldn't imagine her life without the silver imperium crystal. Trying to do so caused her pain. Moreover, the fact that the people she thought knew her better than anything couldn't see the pain they were causing just served to fuel her anger.

That night she'd gone to sleep, rage clouding all her more rational thoughts. Tossing and turning, she'd eventually lost the argument within her raging mind and drifted off to a fitful sleep.

"_Your majesty" a figure spoke from the shadows of a darkened hallway. Its head bowed in deference, the voice still contained all the charm of a viper, sharp and quick. For the first time in her life, Serena felt empowered. As if she knew this dangerous creature wouldn't dare threaten her. The voice that escaped from her mouth held more venom than Serena expected, and left her stunned for the moment. "What do you want? I haven't the time for your gloomy preoccupations today, unless it's important, I suggest you find yourself another hallway to lurk in" The unspoken command still carried force, and the bowed head retreated further into the shadows. "your majesty, your presence is requested-" the oily voice continued "and I suggest you do as your told" She answered cutting him off with a wave of her hand. The figure muttered and slipped away. _

_Suddenly exhausted, Serena slid down against the walls. Somehow even the time worn blocks seemed to provoke her anger. She'd spent most of her time lately being complacent and submissive and she was sick of the whole thing. She feared for her life, this fear alone had kept her normally sharp mind dulled and her senses weak. She reasoned that, in order to cope with everything around her, she had formed this cocoon of indifference. But today, for some reason, it seemed to have cracked and deserted her. Brought back to her own strong sense of injustice and feeling that strength fill her made her sick. She hated that she had been forced into submission. She wanted to fight or die maybe both. In her mind, she almost willed the ancient ceiling to come down and crush her. She couldn't live like this. She wasn't herself anymore. She had tried to simply cope and, in so doing, had broken her own spirit. Much to her shame, she could feel the place beginning to alter her. Every minute she spent in this glided prison took her further away from her old life, the life she cherished. Every moment of this new awakening she tried to bolster herself, she felt like she had to try and be strong. But it had been so long since she'd been able to fight for herself. Perhaps it was this desire to reclaim her lost dignity that had prompted her actions to the old man. She hadn't intended to be so rude, but somehow it just came out that way. She looked at her hands as if they were foreign to her, trying to find some answers there. The old servant was a slimy bastard but he hadn't meant any disrespect, so why had she snapped like that. Something was seriously wrong. _

_Lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed someone sneak up beside her, only seeing the hands that came to cover her own, standing in the way of her quiet contemplation. A voice, familiar but she couldn't quite place it, came out in hushed tones. "a problem, my dear?" it asked, smooth as silk but somehow still threatening. As though it dared her to say no. Instead she said nothing, defiantly, indignantly. She felt pressure on her hands and a gentile but forceful pull to her feet. "you up for a little fun, my dear?" the voice asked, but it wasn't truly a question, she was painfully aware of the fact. _

_Deep in the shadows of the hallway, the vague outline in front of her did nothing to quell a rising fear in her gut, her newly reborn confidence shattered with the certainty born of the upcoming confrontation. She knew, absolutely knew, something was terribly wrong. She fell limp like a rag doll, not able to fight what she knew was coming. Her senses, so recently sharp and aware couldn't slide into the background. She couldn't protect herself. She knew it, and it horrified her. By cracking her own barrier, she had, in essence, caused herself more pain. She cursed her own foolishness, and allowed her fear to make her submissive once again. "You know better, you're supposed to respond when I speak to you" the silky voice growing harder, more dangerous. "and the next time I call, you'd better come. These are my people not yours and you've no right to order them to do anything. They treat you as I demand, no more no less. They owe you nothing." The voice spat, anger clear in every word._

_She found the familiar hands gripping her hard, pushing her up the wall, hands that moved down her waist and to her legs. Forcefully tearing them apart, she started to whimper a little bit, at last attempting to fight. "don't you dare, you know better." The flimsy fabric of her garment wrinkled itself around her waist, no longer forming any sort of protective field for her weakened form. He forced himself inside her, she bit back a agonizing scream, not wanting to let him see the pain he caused. It was so much worse, so much more destructive than it had been as of late, almost as if he wanted to show her what her reckless attempt to regain a piece of her lost self would cost her. Over and over he continued his incessant movement, until she could stop herself no longer, whispers, pleas for him to stop went unheeded. Instead of discouraging him, he seemed to thrive on her agony, it prompted him to get more violent. Whimpers turned to screams and sobs, he relished in it, enjoying her pain. When it was over she lay weeping on the floor, discarded, her little dress in tatters. His final edict was clear her head. "You are mine, my play thing, my little china doll, mine to care for and mine to shatter. No one is coming to save you, you majesty (the word had been almost like a challenge, daring her to assert herself again, she had never been so petrified to be reminded of her bloodline)…learn your place…If I have to teach it to you again it will be worse." She felt like something inside her had died. She reasoned it must be this that caused the red stain on the stone floor beneath her. She watched it with detachment that had come too late to save her. _

The sun began to filter into her window, Serena awoke in pain, crying. She looked around, relief clearing her mind as she realized she was not in some hallway somewhere being attacked. She felt cold all over, damaged. She examined her wrists, found the rapidly fading red marks. At least she wouldn't have to explain them to anyone.

She finally had the answer she needed, she hadn't voluntarily left Darien. She'd thought that answer would've brought her comfort. But it didn't, She couldn't make it feel anything other than nauseating. She couldn't remember having slept through that much of it before. She had, in the time since the whole thing had started, to her knowledge anyway, awoken right before her questions were answered. It was almost as if she had allowed herself to experience this only to answer her questions. After the way her friends had been so dismissive of her lately, she had almost hoped to have some tender memories of what she could only assume was the future, something that made her feel needed. But all she felt was sick.

Attempting to sit up, she realized that not everything had faded. It hurt, admittedly, it was a pain that had begun to fade but it was still there. She resolved to lie still praying this was one of those dreams that left no evidence. Truly, she had no explanation as to why sometimes she was left with proof and sometimes not. She often wondered if those small bruises she was often left with were simply reminders that this was far from over. Maybe now that she understood the nature of the situation, then maybe she would be left alone from now on.

Knowing it to be mere wishful thinking, she resolved to lie still for a while, allowing the brightness of the dawn to fill her room more effectively than any light fixture. It lit up the corners, banishing the shadows and the painful memory until she felt a weight finally lifting off her chest. Believing it to be a sign she tried to let it give her strength. She wasn't going to allow Sailor Moon to be beaten so easily. She was a hero to a lot of people and she tried to think about the ones she saved. Maybe she was being warned, being given a chance to save herself. That alone let her try to think of the whole problem in a positive light. There was nothing to say any of this would actually happen. Still it felt real. She had seen too much in her short life to be too attached to painful flights of fancy. Feeling her new resolve start to crumble, she realized it was pointless to allow herself to sit there and sulk. She sat up, slowly, and swung her legs so her feet dangled over the carpet. Before she could change her mind, she forced herself to stand. She staggered a little, almost as if her left leg had decided it was going back to bed now. Still, the throbbing pain kept her upright and reminded her of her new resolve.

Gingerly peeling off her clothes, still wincing with the movement, she noticed hand prints on her inner thighs. Thanking who ever decided uniforms should come to her knees (and really hoping she'd have no occasion to be Sailor Moon until the handprint faded) she got herself dressed and made it downstairs. Deciding against breakfast, and, more importantly, having to sit down, she made her way towards school. Each and every step was a reminder of her horrible nightmare. She began to practice trying to walk as if it never happened. By the time she was half way there, she at least appeared normal. Years of holding on to the secret of Sailor Moon had taught her how to pretend. For now, She could pretend.

Some part of her demanded she go find Darien. But the thought alone felt wrong somehow. She couldn't explain it, and even though she knew it wasn't her fault, she still felt like she had done something to cause it. If she was honest with herself, she didn't want to tell him because she didn't have any answers yet. Knowing him as she did she believed he would demand to hear the whole thing, and she wasn't ready for that. She was lost in telling herself over and over how to walk that she didn't notice she'd turned a corner. As early as it was, people were out and about going places. A car approached, traveling a little bit faster than it should have, no doubt the driver didn't expect pedestrians this early.

Marcus was new to Tokyo, a fine new job and the promise of a lot more money had brought him there from London. His Japanese was pitiful, he was trying so hard to communicate with his new coworkers and was delighted when he discovered his new secretary spoke English. He hadn't really gotten used to the place yet so her help had been invaluable. She had even taught him a few simple phrases that allowed him to do most of the basic day to day things. She hadn't been able to prepare him for what was to come that morning. But had it happened back home, he wouldn't have been any more able to deal with it. He had been frantically consulting his map trying to remember what street the restaurant where he was to have breakfast with his new coworkers was. By the time he noticed the petit blonde there wasn't really a lot of time to stop. Slamming on his breaks, Marcus watched helplessly as his nearly stopped car proceeded to smash her down. At first he was glad he had managed to stop in time, and not run her over. But that quickly gave way to panic as he realized she hadn't gotten back up. Being sure to pull the parking break just in case, he quickly got out of the car.

There was blood, more than there probably should have been. He didn't bother to note the location, he just called the paramedics. He told them he'd nearly ran over her. As best he could, anyway, in a sort of half-Japanese/ half English frantic disjointed sort of way. They thought they understood him, that he had hit her with his car. Looking her over, however, seeing the bruises and the fact that, while she did have a bump on her head, she also had two handprint shaped red marks, fairly recent apparently and a really suspicious location for blood to be, they resolved either the driver or someone else had violated her, moreover, as she was clearly a minor (admittedly one out a little early to be going to school), they told Marcus not to go anywhere. Police sirens followed shortly after, having been summoned by the paramedics.

The cops asked him to explain himself. He tried. His nerves weren't calmed by the arrival of the squad car and they couldn't understand anything he was trying to tell them. It seemed rather obvious he had assaulted the poor girl. They promptly had him arrested. He was stunned. Marcus hadn't noticed all the things they were accusing him of. Hell, they were trying to charge him with rape. He almost wished he'd not stayed with her till the ambulance arrived. Still, there was blood and she looked so young, he'd been worried. He had done the right thing, but it didn't seem to matter.

Being in a police station half way around the world from home was the final straw for Marcus. He dropped all attempts at Japanese and the cop on the other side of the table kept making his accusations, oblivious to the story being told to him over and over from the increasingly agitated gentleman. To the tired, over worked, up all night, police detective, it looked like this foreigner had used the car story to cover up his indiscretions. Angry at the gall of this man to continue to spout the same nonsense, the cop turned, glared, and walked out of the room. He'd wait for the young lady to wake up and ID the sicko. They hadn't been able to ID her yet so no investigation could be done. He almost went ahead and ordered it but he knew any information attained without her or her parent's consent was inadmissible. The detective simmered, hoping either the guy would crack or the girl would wake up, either one and he could finally get some real answers.

Serena had, in fact, woken up in the hospital. Shocked at the sight, and the paper dressing gown, she noticed her clothing in a pile. She was not sure what had happened, but she was sure she needed to get out of there. She got herself dressed and suck out of the room. She darted out of the hallway, by the time she reached the lobby, she had tried for a more or less vacant expression. She was intercepted by some slightly perturbed nurse. She quickly babbled that she had been visiting a sick friend last night and had fallen asleep. She was chided about visiting hours and escorted out of the building. Serena happened to check the clock on her way out. She was late for class. Realizing she wasn't in so much pain anymore but not wanting to chance it, she resolved to just walk fast. She smacked into Darien on his way to the hospital for his internship. He was studying medicine and had volunteered at the hospital for course credit. He was a little surprised to see her, and she just made some story about being late and rushed off, for a moment though, he thought he had seen a handprint on her thigh. Shaking his head to clear it of such a horrific mental picture, he grabbed his bag and headed towards the hospital.

A little while later Darien was starting to make his rounds in the children's ward when he heard shouting. An angry looking police man was screaming at the nurse in resident. Apparently, she had just let someone out who wasn't supposed to be out. Curiosity getting the better of him, he darted into an empty room so he could listen without being overheard.

"What do you mean she just walked out?" the cop demanded. "Would you stop yelling, there are some very sick kids here!" the nurse harshly whispered. Darien knew her very well and had never heard of her loosing her temper like this, it had to be bad. "one less than there should be, that's for damn sure" his voice had dropped to a harsh whisper too, they were now having the quietest screaming match Darien had ever heard. "How was I supposed to know she was a patient?" the nurse demanded. "it's not like anyone but the EMTS had seen her yet, your orders need I remind you, something about a witness" "she wasn't a witness, she was a victim" he countered back, sounding a bit like a sullen child.

"A victim of what?" the nurse said, the venom dropping from her voice. Curiosity, and a slight touch of concern made it into her tone. "I'll tell you if you promise this stays between us, I need to find her and notify her parents before this gets all over the news…" the cop was interrupted by an angry outburst "as if I'd every do that, those vultures!" the nurse sounded indignated at the very idea that she'd ever willingly involve the media. "She was hit by a car this morning, supposedly, but when EMTS made it to the sight, it looked like she had been sexually assaulted" Darien began to have a very bad feeling, he couldn't explain it but suddenly he felt sick. "we hauled the driver in for questioning but he would only cop to nearly running her over." The cop continued. " as it is, she would've been the only one who could put this guy away but without her we have nothing. We couldn't even run a rape kit without her consent or her parent's consent as she is a minor, breech of fucking protocol" He ran a tired hand through his graying hair. True, this wasn't the worse case he'd ever had. He dealt with several murder cases. But it was the only one where he'd lost his witness before he even got to question her. He cursed himself for not leaving someone at the hospital to guard her. He'd just assumed that since he had the bad guy (or so he thought) then she was in no further danger. "I just can't figure out why she was out so early." The nurse mused, breaking the poor policeman out of his concentration. "She seemed fine when I spoke to her in the lobby, she claimed to have been visiting a friend. She never said a word…" the nurse's voice broke, she couldn't understand where the little girl had gotten to or why she felt the need to sneak out of the hospital. "such a pretty little thing to, and that hair style, I've never seen odango's that long before, It's a miracle that she doesn't trip over them-"

Darien couldn't listen to it any longer. He slipped out of the empty room and walked carefully to the staircase. He closed the door and slid to the floor. He couldn't believe it. There had to be a rational explanation. Surely more than one person had that hair style…Right? She would've told him, she didn't keep secrets from him…he thought so anyway. He had to agree with the nurse though, she seemed fine when he'd seen her, in a bit too much of a hurry to get away though, he realized. And those handprints…He'd forced himself to forget what he thought he saw. But here the memory came again. He had his proof. But if she had been attacked he would've known it. He was sure. He'd always known in the past. He'd always been able to feel that pull when she was in trouble. Part of their connection. But he didn't feel anything. It worried him. More than the fact that she hadn't confided in him, more than anything really, the fact she could've been killed and he would never have known.

He hung his head, his breath coming out shallow and uneven. He'd let her get hurt. It had to be his fault. He felt tears stinging the back of his eyes, his resolve failing him. If she had run away from the hospital, maybe she had a reason. Maybe it wasn't what they thought. Maybe it was just an old injury from a battle that just looked like a hand. The doctors never really got to check her out, EMTS have been known to make a mistake. Maybe that's why she escaped. Maybe she had done it to protect their secret, her secret, he corrected himself mentally, but it only served to produce a fresh wave of sadness. This whole ordeal was her secret. She hadn't trusted him enough to explain. Hell, he worked at the damn hospital, if it had been scout business, he could've helped her cover it up.

Another horrifying thought replaced the ones he'd had previously. Maybe it wasn't scout business. Maybe it was personal….maybe she was seeing someone else. Maybe but she was too young for THAT kind of a relationship. But it did explain her reluctance to talk to him about it. After all, Rini was proof they ended up together some where down the line. It didn't mean they stayed together the time it took to get to the someday. For all they knew they were both destined to see other people before they finally took the plunge. He didn't want to believe that though, he knew how he felt about her, how he'd always felt about her. He just couldn't bring himself to believe she didn't feel that way too.

*** ooo lol probably not what you expected lol, I can't help how weird this one is getting guys and I'm sorry about that. But I did warn you from the start this would be way different lol now here's a question for you guys to consider…is this a future thing or a dream thing or just how real. Some of you may be wondering about the dream sequences from chapter 2 & 3. So let me clear it up, okay? Serena only remembers the dreams before the first one you guys see and that one and this new one. The whole sequence from those chapters was suppressed by the meadow sequence. This is deliberate, you will see why later, for you guys, it was kinda a "let's scare everyone to death moment" lol I figured I probably ought to clear that up before I get some angry reviewers. I do have a bit of a plan here, so please bear with me. I plan for everything to make sense and it will, trust me **** * **


	6. Aborted Conversation

* Okay I know the last chapter was kinda like a smack in the face but the lack of reviews kinda shocked me. I don't write for reviews, we all know this but still, the fact remains that if you guys don't tell me what you don't like, I can't make it better, okay? *

Chapter 6: Aborted Conversation

Darien didn't like the thoughts which had tormented him for most of the day. He didn't like the fact that he couldn't think about Serena without hearing that policeman in his mind. He didn't like the fact that he couldn't think of a way to confront her. He ran through so many ideas in his mind, each seemed more hurtful and less helpful then the one before.

One thing was positively clear to him…he had to keep his space from her until he could find out a way to process everything. He didn't know how brief his respite would be. A couple hours later he felt that familiar pull and, for the first time since he started as tuxedo mask, he consciously tried to fight it. He didn't want to run to her rescue, not if she was some lying tramp who'd just broken his heart.

All the same, even though that thought had occurred to him, Darien knew it wasn't the case. Moreover, he was equally sure that whatever happened hadn't happened with her consent. He couldn't close his eyes without seeing those damn bruises. They were haunting him, reminding him that not only could he not protect her but he couldn't even make her trust him enough to try. Maybe that was the problem…Maybe it wasn't about this horrid situation at all…maybe it was her, and the fact that she wouldn't tell him.

Maybe she didn't know…was that even possible? They said she'd been hit by a car and that could've scrambled her up a little bit. Yes that would explain it…but no, it doesn't explain why she left the hospital. Granted, it could've been to protect her secret but was it really in danger? People get hit by cars everyday in Tokyo, it wasn't exactly evidence that she was a superhero, was it? Darien was so lost in this back and forth argument with himself that he lost track of both time and his surroundings. His awakening would come in the form of a man who only wanted to use the stairs.

Jacob Fielding had been visiting his young son in the children's ward. Daniel Fielding had his leg torn off three days prior by a homicidal elevator door that closed before the 5 year old had completely made it in. Needless to say, Jacob couldn't bring himself to travel via elevator at the moment, no one could blame him really. He'd been with his son for the entire morning, and hadn't missed the whole confusion about the little girl who had simply walked out. His son's room had been cattycorner to hers and he'd seen her go, but hadn't thought anything about it at the time. He had just kind of figured her time there was just over. In fact, at the time that he had noticed her walking down the hallway, he'd been glad to see her go, wishing that his own son had the luxury of being an outpatient.

Jacob Fielding was on his way home, his heart heavy and his mind full of what ifs and curses to his negligence for having not insisted that Daniel board the elevator first. The doctor said that the little boy was in stable condition and that if he remained as such, which wasn't clear primarily because of his age, then they could start talking about prosthesis or something of that nature. Jacob had just begun to picture having to explain why his 5 year old son was wearing a plastic leg to everyone he would meet…ever, when he found himself sprawled on the staircase landing.

He had, unwittingly, tripped over a young man who was just sort of sitting there on the staircase. The boy looked frightfully upset and seemed to be having a rather upsetting and intense argument with himself. Jacob apologized profusely, and went to try to check on him, only to be ignored. It seemed rather odd to him for a little bit when he found himself wondering if the hospital had a mental health facility. He resigned to trying to convince the young man to accompany him to the nurse's station on the next floor down.

Jacob shook him and took a hold of his arm, finding him a great deal heavier than he first appeared. Grunting, Jacob attempted to force the crazy kid to his feet. In so doing, however, he seemed to unleash some demon or something. The young man vanished in an instant. One minute Jacob had a hold of the gentleman's arm, the next he found himself sprawled out of the floor, having a swift kick aimed at him from a man in a tuxedo. Startled, and quickly realizing he had a sharp pain in his hand, Jacob stole a glance at a red rose protruding from the center of his left hand, to the inside of his thumb. He screamed, seemingly breaking whatever homicidal impulse that had driven his assailant who looked at the rose then at his own gloved hands and darted down the rest of the stairs and out of site.

Jacob removed the flower with great difficulty and started to look for the insane young man he had tried to help. He offered up a little prayer that the maniac in the monkey suit hadn't hurt the kid and hobbled his way to the nurse's station. He was unable to visit his son again that day, being laid up with a fractured knee and a large puncture that extended nearly through his hand.

Tuxedo Mask had bigger problems. He had attacked an innocent man for no reason, save his own confusion and pain that had, for a brief moment, driven him out of his mind. He resolved to confront Serena, to ease his own conscious if nothing else. He couldn't afford to loose his wits like that. There was never a time when that was acceptable and certainly not this close to his mundane everyday life.

Yes, he had jeopardized his own anonymity. He craved this everyday life. Even imagining loosing it made the whole thing sound more precious. He considered his friends, and how betrayed they would feel if they found out that he'd kept such an important secret. But he couldn't believe they would see him the same way if they knew the truth. He'd miss being treated the way Andrew always had, like a jerk but a fun jerk. Andrew always seemed to know that there was more to his old friend then the rest of the world did. Andrew knew he was falling in love before he did. Andrew always knew. Darien tried to think of how Andrew would feel that the one person he trusted has been lying to him all this time. He didn't want to hurt him, he never wanted to hurt him. Andrew had understood about Rini, never judged, never asked for more than Darien could give. Andrew understood his limitations. He thought more than once about making a change. About telling him. But imagining him finding out like this was just so far outside the realm of how he pictured and he knew how much it would hurt. He knew he already had a lot to atone for…and all of it for her.

From the beginning, all those centuries ago, everything he had been had been for her. This time, this lifetime, was his chance to be something more. He had created this new world for himself, this new persona that could exist separate from her savior. He had come to love this life as he loved her.

He wasn't the least bit sure that the poor gentleman he'd accosted hadn't already been spouting tails of being attacked by a hospital employee. The thought alone was quite troublesome, as was the reason for it. He didn't really understand anything about what was happening to her, and, as he saw her as a piece of himself, as if they were one person, whatever happens to her happens to him to, at least that was how he saw it.

He wasn't the only one who couldn't help but notice something was seriously wrong. And it wasn't as if it was a surprised really…ever since that neck snap incident, all the scouts had, at one time or another, found themselves watching her more carefully. Amy had been completely at a loss to explain….well….anything really. She didn't like feeling confused. Whenever she had a moment, she ran the diagnostic through her handheld scout computer, hoping that the advanced technology of her home planet was the key to solving this confusion.

Rei caught her using her computer in broad daylight in front of witnesses and exploded. She spouted all these things about secret identites and had Amy lost her mind and all these things that made her feel about an inch tall. Ultimately, she realized what a fool she had been. The realization made her actually apologize to the others. Which made Rei stop for a moment and smile at her "I'm concerned too" She said "there's something blocking the sacred flame, I can't find answers there.

"Rini is worried too, she came to me crying and told me about a vision she'd had of a meadow and how Serena hadn't wanted to come back to us. She told me that she's heard screams from Serena's room at night and how the image of waking up to the frozen face of her mother had made sure she hadn't slept in ages. I asked her if she's told Serena about any of this. She said that Serena hasn't been home much. She said she's seen her sometimes in the morning sneaking out. The point is our princess is hiding something from us. I don't know what it is any more than your computer does.

"What I do know is she's scared. More than usual. She would've spoken to one of us if she could. Clearly it's something she either can't tell us or thinks we wouldn't understand. I mean did you see her at that battle earlier? She seemed relieved that tuxedo mask didn't show. I mean have you ever seen her excited NOT to see Darien? And I couldn't help but notice those bruises. It was the strangest thing, they were there, clear as day before. But after we saved the heart crystal and transformed back, they were gone. I thought I imagined them except that Lita had seen them too. Lita told me that she was late for class again today, but that neither of you had seen her leave the house. It's all very mysterious and I really don't like it"

Mina had just arrived at the café the group was to meet at, she noticed Rei and Amy in deep discussion about something. Rei was talking animatedly and quickly and she noticed Amy nodding and listening intently. Mina peered around the corner and seemed to been seen rather quickly because they stopped talking and just stared at her.

…. "Oh my! Mina, you startled me!" Amy said, a false smile creeping onto her face. "I thought perhaps you were Serena!" Rini appeared as if by magic from behind Mina. "she isn't coming. I just saw her heading towards the arcade." "she told us she would be here this time" Rei said with annoyance. Rini looked ashamed for getting Serena in trouble. Which bothered Amy. Rini had never before cared about ratting Serena out. Amy could tell that Rini was more concerned than she had originally noticed. Amy supposed she'd been so focused on Serena that she hadn't cared about Rini as much as she normally did, a fact that she was suitably ashamed of. "I'm sorry" she said suddenly, not realizing it hadn't been in her head. Rini looked confused for a moment then angry "You told her?" She asked Rei "I thought that was just between us!" "I'm sorry Rini, but Amy is your friend too, she only wants to help" "Then fix Serena's problems, not mine!" Rini practically screamed at Rei and Amy and ran off.

Amy started after her but Mina stopped her "maybe that's not the best idea, I'll talk to her" and ran off after Rini. Rei smiled suddenly, which Amy found a little rude. "She really is her mother's daughter isn't she?" Rei said, cheering Amy considerably. "Yes, well, that's only provided we can solve her problem now isn't it? If this is as dangerous as I think it is, then we stand a real chance of losing Serena. Losing Serena means losing Rini, it's really that simple. We have to save the mother to have a shot at saving the child, you know this." "When did Serena turn into a more complicated situation then the bad guys?" Rei said, exasperated. "She wasn't always?" Amy said, giggling.

Little did they know that Serena hadn't been going to crown after all, she had remembered their group outing about half way there and had headed their way. She arrived just in time to hear Rei say she was a problem and for Amy to agree. She'd been hit by a car, escaped from a hospital, and lied to the love of her life for the sake of their mission and the thanks she got was they didn't appreciate any of it. All the pain and anger that had accumulated over the last week came spilling out. She had to get out of there before she did something she would, undoubtedly regret. Lita was the last to arrive, Serena nearly mowing her down to get away from Amy and Rei.

"Guys, I think we have a problem" Lita said, timidly. She hadn't completely recovered herself from the trauma of the last few days. " I saw the news when I ran by my place after class, I needed to pick up my purse. The police are looking for a little girl with blonde odangos, they won't say why but I can't help but think it might be Serena" Rei and Amy had already started running off before she finished what she was saying.

"Guys?" Lita asked, starting after them "where are we going?" "we need help!" Amy replied "I'm going to find Darien and figure out why he wasn't at that battle earlier, maybe he knows something about this police thing, we need answers!"

Amy had no way of knowing that Darien had more questions then they did. Arriving at his place found a note at the door asking Serena, should she stop by, to come to Cherry Hill Park, that they had to talk. The girls figured that would be the best place to find both of them. They arrived in time to see Darien jump into the koi pond. It was twilight and he had apparently arrived after Serena had. Fishing her out of the shallow pond wasn't as easy as it should have been, She was okay but something had been holding her under the water.

Amy and Rei looked at each other, their shared confusion was enough to convince them both that they were right, how much they wished they hadn't been was immaterial. Something was really wrong.


	7. Normal

**Okay so this chapter took a very long time to even get started. It's due to a couple reasons, first of all, shortly after the release of the previous chapter of this story my grandpa passed away. I'm okay now but I don't really deal well with loss, though I have to take it one day at a time. I was pretty messed up for a while. **

**A less depressing reason is that I have, as of December, recently graduated college. That's right readers, you're humble author is officially a historian (trumpets sound and cheers) while I realize that it may not be obvious, as you can probably guess the final semester of college is chocked full of frantically trying to finish all the things you must to get to graduation, including an 80 page monstrosity known as a "senior project" As you can probably imagine, after working on that I was disinclined to pick up a pencil for a bit. That all changed a couple weeks ago…in the last few weeks I've been under an enormous surge of creative energy. I've written several songs (my life passion ) as well as a few chapters in a novel I'm working on. **

**In the reviews for chapter 5, I was told that my author notes are longwinded. So I included absolutely none of them in the last chapter to see if it was better received. Sort of a trial run you might say. It doesn't seem to have made a hill of beans difference though, still, in the future, if I want to take up more than a page, I promise it will come AT THE END of the chapter, thus making it easier to ignore if you so choose, but I do appreciate every one of my readers and that is my special way of telling them so. **

**And finally to my friend Crystal Saturn, a big thanks for everything you do. I may not say it enough but I really appreciate your help on this one, you rock **

…**.So enough of this and ON WITH THE SHOW **

Chapter 7: Normal

Serena had arrived at the park in a flustered state. Having overhead a snapshot of the scouts conversation about her, it became quite clear that they no longer considered her to be a leader. She had been used to this kind of subterfuge when they first started this, as they were all younger and the natural teenage bickering often got in the way of their more important duties. But it had been years since this normal back and forth had actually become something to be concerned about. With all that had happened to her lately, it seemed to just sort of be the nail in the coffin.

She'd stood there by the red painted wood bridge over the Koi pond, just watching the fish swim around. There was something so calming about them, and her rage faded. The bridge was small, with low railings. It hadn't been intended for use really, as most people stayed away from that corner of the park. After all, the trees shaded the area, and it was close to where the heart snatchers had been attacking children, so it was mostly deserted now days. Serena leaned forward to rest her folded elbows on the rails, she laid her head down and just took in the serenity of the scene. A soft sigh later, she found herself drifting into a drowsy partial consciousness. Dreamily she leaned over the railing, half asleep, she gingerly splashed into the water, the wooden bridge leaving scrapes across the top surface of her legs as she made her way over. She then laid down as she had in that meadow, she felt the grass underneath her face and she slept; Oblivious to the fact that her newfound bed was under water.

She hadn't been able to control what happened, she hadn't known it was happening at the time. Now amid her friends, she was remarkably calm. They pressed her with questions, but she was silent. It was, in fact, her silence that Darien found most uncomfortable. He pushed her friends away and stood right in front of her, she didn't seem to see him.

Stunned he shook her. Hard. Perhaps with more aggression than he'd intended but he'd arrived at the park in a dangerous frame of mind. He'd been all set to demand answers from her. Insist that she'd be honest with him, even mention the handprints if she denied everything. Hell, it was all over the news that they were looking for someone who matched her description. He was all set to be firm and authoritarian of the situation seemed to call for it.

When he'd arrived, she wasn't where she was supposed to be, but remembering the Koi pond across the path, he'd went there. He'd expected her to be sitting on the bridge. When they first started dating, they'd sit there together, no one hardly came near the pond so it wasn't necessary to feel as if they were inconviencing anyone. They'd have the whole pond to themselves. Serena said it just reminded her of a memory she had, from her time in the moon kingdom. There had been a garden then, with a fountain that had water lilies on the surface. She remembered being ever in that garden with him before. It was a short memory but it did make the Koi pond a romantic spot for the two of them.

Serena's return to cognitive consciousness was best described as quick. Serena was awakening once again to concerned faces. This time she was wet all over. Okay that's new….She stood up slowly, hissing at the sudden stab of pain. A quick inventory of newfound scrapes on the front of her legs brings to mind the reason why she was soaked. She remembered being in a haze, it didn't even really seem like it was happening at the time. But as the whole incident crept into her mind she felt her skin crawl. It was like what happened in the bathtub except this had felt peaceful. The water hadn't shocked her awake, neither had being removed from it. She felt quite certain that she would've continued in that dreamlike trance until she drown had Darien not arrived.

It was this that struck her most. She'd had the dreams and occasionally those trances but this was different somehow. It had taken complete control of her mind and body. She hadn't even known she was stepping into the water. She hadn't done it of her own volition, but even being forced to do it seemed too harsh. It was as if she was eased into it, like a mother laying down a sleeping infant to sleep, everything was calm and gentle. The dreams were many things, but gentle was certainly not one.

For his part, Darien saw the truth of the whole situation as it occurred to her, he saw the fear coming into her eyes and, more than the entranced Ophelia had, he found his anger at her to be redirected to whatever had made her so scared. He'd known her since she was smaller than Rini and he'd never seen her so terrified. The hero in him just wanted to protect her from it. She seemed so helpless all the sudden.

In an instant though, the terror was masked. She pushed everything out of her features, schooled her expression and rose completely to her feet. She'd allowed herself to forget for a moment that she wasn't alone. As her eyes met his she realized suddenly that he'd seen her fear. For a few minutes she was at a loss. He'd seen it, she couldn't hide it from him anymore, could she? Without lying about it, though even then she couldn't think of anything to say. She couldn't make up a story that would make sleeping in a koi pond sound natural. She doubted anyone could.

The simple fact that even the truth didn't make much sense wasn't lost on her either. She stood ringing the water out of her uniform skirt, using the repetitive motion to try and think. When she had done all she could, she looked up, concern and fear from her friends made her feel somehow guilty. As if she'd done all of this on purpose. She hadn't and she was sure they knew that but something about the looks all around made her feel as if she was somehow to blame.

"I think I need to change…" She said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt at the moment. Darien stood their stunned. Clearly that wasn't what he expected to hear.

"You can't go home like that Serena." Rini said, her answer surprised everyone "What would your mom say?" Rini's answer was so very practical that everyone stared at her instead of Serena. She was growing up, they all were starting to see that. Maybe it was because of what she saw the other day, but she seemed very strong and less terrified than the rest of them still were. Collectively, they all began walking to Darien's, the only place that a soggy Serena wouldn't raise eyebrows. Sometimes the girls wondered if anyone else actually lived in that big tower, they never seemed to see them, and no one seemed to complain about teenage girls coming and going at weird hours. Credit seemed due to the fact that it was an expensive place, and perhaps they just don't worry about things like that in such a nice complex. The fact that someone his age wasn't throwing wild parties and seemed to be considerably well off appeared to work in his favor.

That his financial security was due to the fact that parents he couldn't remember died when he was very young wasn't something most people knew. It wasn't really something he ever mentioned. Simply because he couldn't remember anything more than what he was told afterwards. After all, when you don't know anything about your past, it seems easier not to mention it. He realized once that he remembered more about being Prince Endymion then he did about his own past. It seemed ridiculous to him, but it was true none the less.

The girls, plus Darien and little Rini, made their way up to his door. He'd had it fixed after Sailor Venus had destroyed it so he had to fish for his keys for a moment. Serena and Darien went to his room where they both grabbed something dry to wear and Darien went off to the bathroom to change in private. Serena did the same, her wet uniform making a soggy pile on the carpet.

Fresh warm socks on her feet, her hair pulled out of her signature Odangos to dry, she studied herself in the mirror. She looked alright she thought, there was a red welt on her forehead from her close encounter with the car that morning, an event which she had almost forgotten given everything else that the day had seemed fit to toss at her. Indeed, being hit by a car seemed so normal all the sudden. It happens to people all the time, it didn't happen because of any other reason then she wasn't watching where she was going. There was nothing mystical about it. In fact it was so normal that she was even a little delighted. Moreover, perhaps she had a slight concussion from her encounter with the vehicle, and perhaps that was the reason for the Koi pond thing. It actually made sense, it was NORMAL. She could even convince herself that the trance thing was just a side effect of having cracked her already damaged head against the rocks in the Koi pond, some sort of temporary brain damage. It made sense!

She was so delighted by her new found rationalizations that she practically skipped into the living room where her friends were waiting. Darien stepped out of the bathroom just in time to see her darting down the hall in her normal bubbly way. He rubbed his eyes for a moment, he hadn't seen her act like that in a month, perhaps more, and he had to admit, in spite of everything, it made him feel good to see her bubbly again. He almost didn't want to disturb her apparently good mood by asking her how it was possible that something held her down in the shallow water, like something was pulling her from him in that moment. He almost didn't want to see her smile die like that. She hadn't been herself in a while, longer than he'd really stopped to realize. He'd missed her, it was as simple as that.

Her friends reacted to her suddenly sunny disposition less altruistically. To say they were shocked seems entirely inadequate. The fact that she'd bounced into an easy chair and was currently possessed of a preposterously huge smile seemed impossible. Mina couldn't look at her, being back in this apartment for the first time since they'd all witnessed her die was a little too much for her. She wanted to leave. She felt that urge. Her eyes darted between the front door and the balcony door, each seemed to beckon her as a way out. Serena's sudden reappearance felt ghastly to Lita too. Though, instead of being afraid to look at her, Lita couldn't stop. To Lita, this Serena looked like some sort of ghost. She couldn't process the change in her, she was afraid to touch her unless her hand passed through her. She was completely convinced it was an apparition.

As each in turn took in her appearance, they all seemed unwilling to speak. Darien reluctantly broke the ice, he settled onto the arm of the chair Serena was in, she scotched over so they could share, though he seemed unwilling to do so. Rini, however, wasn't so reluctant. Seeing the slot open up she looked expectantly at Serena, who gave her a conspiratorial smile and beckoned her over. They both settled in as Darien began to talk.

"You seem to be feeling better Serena." He looked at her, snuggled in the chair with an arm around Rini's shoulder. She gave him a bright smile which he allowed himself to be lost in for a moment before shaking his head and clearing his throat. He had to discuss this with her. He didn't want to, especially given her disposition at present, but he was unable to rationalize it away. "Look Serena we've gotta talk" He sighed and stood up, his hand rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to think of how to put this. Finally he settled on the obvious.

"What happened Serena? This morning, just now in the park, lately it just seems like there has been something going on with you and just now I saw it, felt it, there is a problem here Serena and I want you to tell me. I don't understand any of this and I've had a long day here and I'm glad that you're okay now and everything but I think I've taken all I'm going to take of this, I'm loosing my mind here Serena, I just want you to be honest with me."

Serena's sunny disposition clouded perceptibly. "Oh and you were all so honest with me weren't you?" Mina, Rei, Amy, Lita and Darien all exchanged a look. "I can tell you've been keeping something from me guys, I know you all well enough to tell that. Why should I feel compelled to share every little thing if you all won't? As for today it was weird I'll grant you but completely normal weird, not scout business weird." Serena finished, still trying to stay positive.

Darien looked poised to interrupt her, his unspoken interjection prompted her to continue. "Look okay it's very simple, this morning on my way to class I wasn't looking were I was going and got grazed by a slow moving vehicle. I kinda bumped my head and woke up in the hospital. I was feeling better so I went on to school. Apparently though I overestimated the feeling better part and must have passed out or something up by the bridge. That's it, nothing else, completely normal clumsy me."

Darien and the girls weren't buying it. She hadn't addressed the question of the handprint, which certainly lead him to believe his worst fears, that she'd met someone else and had been entirely willing for that particular escapade. Though the conversation he had overheard had suggested otherwise. She also didn't explain the trance, or that whatever it was that had held her down in the water. Perhaps she didn't know about those two things but he had a hard time believing she hadn't noticed the first.

As for her friends, who had been expecting to hear about that horrifying incident with her desiccation and apparent death, they were once again thwarted. Though they realized they hadn't told her about it, they had a very hard time believing that there wasn't some connections. Moreover they were convinced, even if she wasn't, that there was nothing "normal about it" An awkward silence descended as each processed what Serena had said and tried to think of how to explain this secret they'd been keeping. Though they scarcely could believe it themselves, they'd all seen it. It had been like a vision, something more horrible than any nightmare any of them could recall. They'd expected answers. It didn't seem like too much to ask.

Rini, for her part, wanted to believe Serena's story. She wanted to believe it so badly. But she knew better, and the fact that she knew better made the whole thing feel like a betrayal. She was still snuggled next to Serena when the story was over, and she got up slowly, and backed away from the chair. As she watched her mind's eye zapped back to that frozen face then to those unblinking entranced eyes. And finally to that cursed crystal back home. The images played in quick succession as she continued to move backwards until she came to the wall of Darien's apartment. Her head hit it hard then she slid all the way down, hugging her knees. No one but Serena seemed to be watching her as she resumed her position from that terrible morning, muttering and rocking herself. Serena seemed frozen in her spot. She'd seen Rini's movement across the room. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched. Unbidden she too rose to her feet, though her movement across the room was swift. She gathered Rini up in her arms, and carried her away, struggling to do so as Rini had grown so much as of late. Still she felt she had to, she carried her into the other room. Serena knew this time she was at fault. She didn't know why but this was DEFINITELY her fault.

**Well okay apparently Rini's finally cracked o.O and yep that was supposed to happen. It almost did before, but she was able to hold it together. **

**Ophelia refers to a character from William Shakespeare's Hamlet. Ophelia was hamlet's girlfriend who supposedly went crazy and drowned herself. Though it was never proven that she wasn't drowned by someone else, sort of a fitting illusion for the pond sequence. **

**And yes I know there isn't a lot of action here, but I wanted to get inside everyone's head, which I did for the most part. I got a little sucked in to Darien's for a bit which might have brought everyone to mind of the previous two chapters so I hope it wasn't too repetitive. Any questions please feel free to ask. **

**Until next time , **

**Katrina**


	8. Memory

**I'm back! Promised I would be didn't I! As always crystal Saturn is to blame/thank for this chapter and so much of this story! Lylas! I have a few special thanks but they can wait till after! Remember always skip the bold print if you just want to see story! **

**And on with the show!**

Chapter 8: Memory

Somehow they'd all failed. That single thought haunted the gathering of scouts in the living room of Darien's apartment. It seemed to be a living entity in the room with them, as tangible as a chair and more powerful than the strongest foe they'd yet to face. Even Amy with her normally intense commitment to making sense of a problem was reluctant to name this one, as if giving voice to that thought that haunted them all would somehow make it more real. As if it would give it more power. That was the reason none of them had wanted to tell Serena about that horrible moment, because speaking it aloud all over again would make it come to life. That it might be possible that speaking of it would cause it to happen all over again.

It was becoming increasingly clear to all of them that what they'd seen was merely part of a larger story. It was this, above all else, that worried them more than anything. That perhaps what they'd all seen was simply the beginning…that something worse was destined to happy to them all. It brought a chill to the hearts and minds and it wasn't possible for any of them to look dismissively at that realization.

Rini had, to the best of anyone's guess, held herself together with remarkable resiliency in light of everything that happened; which made her relapse back into that scared little girl all the more poignant. Serena had behaved herself with compassion, dignity and motherly concern all of which made her seem so much older than her years would suggest. She kept her focus on Rini and soothed her, softly reassuring and stroking her head. When the little girl had stopped rocking and shaking, Serena placed her gently on the bed, sitting behind her and unwound her cotton candy toned hair and started to brush it. Soon she fell into a rhythm of speaking softly about nothing in particular and brushing her hair. Rini felt her panic and fear being surplanted by pleasant memories of moments just like this one with her mother. The warm, loving hands guiding the brush were as familiar to her as her own and she allowed herself to calm down and feel something other than sadness and pain, for the first time in a long time she was contented. Weary eyes closed and soon she was able to sleep. Serena smiled and tucked her in, carefully placing the brush on the bed side table.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a picture frame. Lovingly she picked it up and noticed it was a shot of the three of them at a sakura festival. The pink flowers making the perfect back drop for a photo. Rini was making a silly face and Darien was looking at Serena as if she were the only person in the entire world. Silent tears found their way down her cheeks and splashed onto the picture frame. She put it down and took another look at the little creature sleeping peacefully before slowly and quietly making her way out of the room.

Her return to the living area was not to go unnoticed. She could feel the tense reception keenly and struggled to dry the recently born tears off her cheeks. "She's resting" she said, though she wasn't sure if she'd said it aloud only to be able to hear it herself or to convince herself it actually happened. "Though I really don't know for how long. She doesn't seem like herself but then again none of you have recently. I didn't want to make a big deal out of anything but this involves Rini now too and that's a problem. So if there is something you aren't saying I wish you would. I can't help her if no one will let me in on this grand secret you all seem convinced I can't handle."

Her words were calmly and rationally spoken but they belied a darker meaning. They all just looked at her. She zeroed in on Darien and looked him straight in the eye. "tell me what happened to our daughter Darien" He seemed spooked. She'd been acting maternal and now she was speaking like a mother as well. Both of these things were out of character. She seemed older now than she had before. None of this had escaped his notice. "What's wrong with you" slipped out of his mouth before he realized he was thinking it, and the change that came over her now was frightening. She spoke quietly but sternly and the rage was apparent in her face. "Outside. Now" she gestured towards the balcony doors with an unforgiving hand.

Before she could get a word out, however, his own doubts and misgivings exploded. "You've been lying to me for a while. Don't deny it Serena. I know you know more about what's going on here than you want anyone to believe. Granted I feel more out of the loop with you know than I have in a long time and I'm sure part of it has to be my fault but you can't pretend this affronted dignity and not be called on it. Damn it, I love you and I worry about you, even more so when I know something awful is happening and the very fact that you won't tell me and I can't figure it out for myself bugs the hell out of me."

"What makes you think I know?" She said…her voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't you dare try that on me Serena. You know more than you are pretending."

"Maybe I don't has that ever occurred to you, jerk!"

The suddenness of her insult and the familiarity of it startled him and he actually laughed. The small chuckle turned into a full hearted laugh…which made her angry at first but a laugh can be like a cold sometimes in that it can become contagious. In spite of her anger and desire for answers she found herself drawn in by the familiar and heartwarming sound of his laughter. Her own questions gave way to a sympathetic giggle of her own which grew as his had and soon they were both laughing with reckless abandon into the fading daylight. As the city awoke in its nighttime splendor as most big cities do, the natural light giving way to millions of glowing windows and streetlights, their laughter allowed itself to die out naturally. But something special remained, the shared elation. As if some part of the pain they both had felt recently had allowed itself to be borne away from them with their laughter and the shared experience of relief clung to them.

The sweetness of the moment was made all the more special when, with the first sign of a shiver from the cool breeze, a familiar green coat made its way around her shoulders. The indescribable joy that one gesture gave her was remarkable. Made even more so by the fact that it seemed almost second nature to him. She snuggled close and was lost to that same old feeling, something intense that they'd both been missing terribly. She could feel it come across their connection, as strong as it ever was. So much so that she'd forgotten how frayed it had been as of late. All either of them could feel at this exact moment was love. Not the strong destined to be together forever sort but the sweetness of new love.

That same warm glow radiated from the balcony to such a degree that Mina picked up on it from her gloomy tense spot in the living area. The crease in the middle of her forehead vanished, she perked up and felt that glow warm over her. Being in touch with love in general made her feel whole again, in a way that she didn't realize she hadn't been recently. Like that favorite toy you thought you lost, the realization that something precious had been found filled her up utterly. And with new purpose, she quickly and quietly made her way down the hallway to check on Rini, still snuggly asleep in that big bed, the smile on her face telling Mina all she needed to know. Tiptoeing back to the main room she gestured for everyone to leave.

Rei gave her an incredulous look but she was firm. Grumbling and confused, the other girls made their way towards the door as instructed. Leaving the building in a huff, Rei paused and looked up, her eyes drawn to a familiar balcony. She saw the two of them silhouetted against the light coming from the living room and understood. Much like Mina, she could feel that tense crease that had formed semi permanently between her eyes vanish. A sense of calm came over her and she practically skipped down the street. Amy and Lita were starting to become convinced that some sort of insanity was overcoming everyone and they walked very close together and as far away from Mina as humanly possible.

Meanwhile Darien was as caught up in the moment as Serena and for the first time in a while he looked at her, blue eyes met blue eyes and something passed between them. He smiled and she smiled and the world blurred into the background. It was just him and her and nothing else mattered. He leaned in and captured her with a kiss, at first soft and gentle but the need for it both shocked and consumed them both and it became more greedy and powerful. They both pulled away, breathing heavily and with a twinge of regret. Unwilling to break the spell of the moment neither said a word for what seemed like an eternity.

Finally a sigh broke the silence. "I should probably go check on her" Darien's momentary confusion made her smile. "Rini…I should probably go check on her" His blank look generated more giggles on her part as she went back inside, depositing the familiar coat on the couch, which she didn't notice was no longer occupied by well meaning friends.

Tiptoeing down the hallway proved challenging for the accident prone girl and what was supposed to be silent and careful turned into a big CRASH. Practically falling through the door to the bedroom, she'd awoken Rini who sat up quickly and saw her spazzed out on the floor, her leg at a funny angle and she was trying, unsuccessfully, to grab ahold of the door to pull herself back up as apparently her knees had another idea. "what happened" Rini said groggily, rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands. "mrmmrump" Serena mumbled…her mouth still flat on the carpet. "what?" Serena raised herself up on her haunches "I fell over"

After all the stress and fear lately, that normal serenaish thing to do just completely took Rini by surprise. For her too, the unexpected joy of normal made her giggle. Serena came over and they sat together just laughing conspiratorially. Darien, realizing she probably wasn't coming back outside made his way inside to silvery peals of laughter infecting his apartment.

It took them a minute to realize he was standing in the doorway watching them. Rini stood up slowly, walked over, and gave him a hug around his legs (all she could comfortably reach). She whispered in his ear "Can she stay over?" He laughed and swung her up into his arms. "I don't know about that Rini she's got a place of her own where she sleeps. Her mom might not like it if she didn't come home." Rini looked so blue for a minute that sighed and put her down "let me make a call"

Mina picked up right away and was very conspiratorial about her consent to asking Serena's mom if Serena could spend the night at her house for study reasons. Darien came away from the conversation convinced that Mina had declared, in no uncertain terms, that she knew that he had nefarious reasons for wanting Serena in his apartment all night long. He stuttered that Rini wanted her there but Mina's cat with the canary smile was nearly audible over the phone and trying to convince her otherwise wasn't working. He hung up and hung his head while Mina did as she promised.

Ikuko consented but seemed concerned about how little time Serena was spending at home as of late. Mina played it off, saying they had a couple big projects coming up and were spending all their time working on them but hanging up the lie tasted rather bitter in her mouth. She hated that part about the life of a Sailor Scout. Lies were never her thing before and she sometimes resented that they had become so much a part of her everyday life that she could lie and not know really what she was covering up. She'd been doing this longer than any of them and she still wished it didn't have to be as it was. She'd wished the same thing on every falling star she'd seen since becoming a scout and none of them seemed to grant any wishes. It couldn't hurt to try right? She reasoned as she counted as she looked out of the window of her room onto the moonlit sky. The glow from the city blocked most stars except her own, the planet Venus smiled down upon her from its perch in the heavens and lifted her spirits. She stared at it until her eyelids began to droop and sleep claimed her for its own.

Luna made her way to Serena's room knowing her favorite scout wasn't going to be home any time soon. The silly pink coverlet beckoned her to a feline luxury. A leisurely stretch and pawing made a comfortable place to snuggle down. Soft light filtered in from the window and the door to the hall which Luna had left cracked by necessity (cats not being able to lock doors no matter how magical) She lay down and thought about how strange it all was. How different a life she had than the one she had any logical reason to accept. Serena continued to defy all logical assertions of any sort and that thought alone was comforting and familiar. True they were facing trouble right now but trouble always found them. She had to trust that Serena knew what she was doing this time. She had so often been wrong about how much Serena couldn't do that for once she was going to try and go on a little faith. There was a very important reason why she hadn't consented to confronting the poor girl about everything. She knew that Serena would've told them if she thought it was the right thing to do. Luna was dreadfully worried but she'd convinced herself that she trusted her princess and that she was going to try and let her decide what she felt would be the right thing to do and the right time to explain. Sleep would find Luna when she allowed her mind to quiet enough to enjoy the peaceful nature of her surroundings and the comforting sense of Serena which seemed to invade the very air in the room she'd had since she was very small.

Life seemed to have returned to Serena, Darien & Rini all in one night. They were caught together in the joy of being alive and being together and happy for once that they began to feel like something very special. They felt like a family. It was a feeling they all felt as they made dinner (or Serena got in the way and spilled a bunch of things while Darien and Rini made dinner). And at the dinner table while Darien made a funny face that had both girls giggling like crazy or when Rini made her chopsticks dance which made Serena laugh so hard the tea went down the wrong way. It all felt so completely and utterly normal. When the time came to say goodnight, both of them prevailed with the pretty pleases until Darien consented to story time.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.." Both girls at this point gave each other a look and giggled. Darien cleared his throat, and the attention drifted back to him and Serena waved her hand regally and bade him continue , all the while trying to maintain a straight face which only made Rini laugh harder. Darien cleared his throat louder while trying to appear detached from the spectacle of giggly ridiculousness.

Darien tried again, louder "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who lived far far way from here in a mystical kingdom." "oooooo" said Serena. "shut it meatball head" said Rini, which earned her a lighthearted slap. At which point both girls erupted into a silly slap fight and the tinkling sound of laughter once again filled the small apartment. Darien tried to talk over the chaos but found they weren't really listening anyway and as they had insisted that he tell a story anyway he felt perfectly justified in abandoning that task and grabbing some PJs from the drawer. He settled himself gently on the couch in the living room and fell asleep peacefully listening to the sweet sounds of the two people he loved most in the entire world.

The silliness eventually died down at which point story time had been long forgotten. They settled down together in the big bed, two little girls with nothing in the world to bother them. Rini settled down first, her sweet soft snores gave her away before anything else and soon Serena settled into the contentment she felt and allowed herself to be whisked into sleep as well, saying a little prayer to her heart that the softness of the evening grant her pleasant dreams as well.

**Okay so here is a little sweet surprise for everyone. A really good friend reminded me that it doesn't have to be dark all the time and I think I needed to hear that. Don't get me wrong…you're looking at the eye of the storm here, it won't stay all sweetness and candy canes but sometimes it's nice to do that. I had a couple new friends stop by on the review page and I want to acknowledge them. **

**Bunnicula03: I really hope you like this one! **

**And for Tenshi-Chikyuu: I felt kinda bad for scaring you before bed lol…I've done that to myself a time or two lol as for who it is sorry I can't say that yet but I will say that I do like your Rini idea…I didn't want to leave her crazy at this point exactly because I liked the idea of Serena having a grown up moment. I still might have Rini be the one though, something about that kinda resonated with me At least this one wasn't scary LOL**


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